Jen
It happens to all of us who have a jealous/possesive partner, eventually you become so shut off from your friends (Because your partner doesn't approve of them for various reasons) that you lose contact with them all. So it's good to hear you're starting up a new fan base...things can only get better.
I noticed you put study in at last place, being a bit of a geek I would have put it in at second, what does everyone else think?
Or do I get booted from this site for being a nerdy biker?
Ha Ha Ha Ha at least there's no top pocket on my leathers for my pens and calculator!
Ciao
Paul
jen,its good that u have ur freedom from a control freak at last,i know exactly how u feel cos was married to one myself! being at home wiv kids i dont get chance to meet new ppl so am happy to say have made many new friends on here! keep smiling hun! xx
you keep what in top pocket of your leathers Paul - hope your Sunday am reading book is there too lol?? He's right Jen so listen to those who know!! Voice of experience here too (prefer that to age lol!!) was married to my childhood sweetheart for 27 years and with him in total for 30 so take it from one who knows!!! Loved him to bits, despite finding out that he had a jealousy problem and being married to me made it worse, cos (and not being vain just honest!) guys used to always look at a little bubbly natural blonde which made him even more secure. It never really became a problem because I am a very loyal, loving and family orientated person although would never allow anyone to ground me like that again. Too young and naive to realise it then, but it seriously restricted my freedom which is probably why Im out there doing daft things now. Bringing up babies, running home, meant little time to socialise anyway so for years, I just stayed away from situations I knew fired him up but not good for me really!! You have to make sure you get what you want out of a relationship too, I am not a jealous woman and believe trust and giving someone freedom keeps them close to you for right reason anyway so no need - but it is easier for women to put babies, partner, home etc first and miss out yourself - but you are important too, never forget that. Nowdays, after bringing up two children (who are now the most amazingly wonderful young adults who watch out and care for me too !!) I am single again. I nursed my ex husband and close members of my family until they all unfortunately passed away within a few years of each other. Very hard! Broke my heart but always kept strong for the kids and took care of myself for their sake but kids do keep you strong, you have to be for them, so I protected their feelings, rebuilt my life and gave them a stable base to continue growing up in, which they did. During all this time Jen, I studied, took every opportunity I could to develop myself as a person and enable me to have a good profession so I could be financially independant - its important, you have to have something of your own too. You wont be at home with babies forever, things change. Even today, I am full on and part way through a health and social care open university degree as well as working full time. Make the most of yourself, good for your own confidence/self worth and will enable you to be financially independant one day soon too. You need something more than kids and home, wonderful as they undoubtedly. If you do find yourself on your own as I did, you can at least earn a decent salary. Also, it makes you get out there in the big world, meet new ppl and learn new skills - use your brain too Jen - you know you can!!! Ive never regretted it - hard as it is sometimes, well worth the effort!!! Dont get me wrong, not a man hater - still miss not having that special someone, but dont need anyone to keep me, and wouldnt be with wrong one again, or go out there looking cos I dont believe it happens that way. But one day, everyone has their day and so will you Jen so get out there, get what you can for you while your babies are small and you are entitled, you wont regret it! I didnt, just as well uh lol??
Sandy
x
Just something that may help from the University of Life! ooopppss told you I was very active didnt I Paul lol!! Wear most out, even my "kids" lol!! Going back to my sofa and lemsip now tho .......................bored!!
Sandy
x
Thanx for the encouraging words...
Paul..study was first on my list..been at it 2 1/2 yrs..anothe 1 1/2 to go...but it contributes too much to the stress...seriously thought bout giving it all up...seeing as HE blames the study..but wont give it up..just hard to reshuffle priorities... I struggle with the study, am dyslexic, not making excuse, just find it hard..takes me longer....since my split up, i threw myself into my bike and as i say find it difficult to study..
i need to refocus tho, as only just passed module..but thats when he left as well......sorry, i am yet another waffler......
You wanna waffle love you go ahead.
Good for you to keep on with the studies, keeps ya mind active Jen which in turn helps to keep you feeling good.
Keep up the good work hun and NEVER beat ya self up for taking the odd time out. You'll get there you'll see. x
Jen, you've passed the module so that says a lot in itself.
Besides, everything has a time and place, so maybe now is the bike riding time, BUT please don't give up on your studies as they will stand you in good stead in years to come.
hey jen well done hunny for picking up the pieces keep at the studies and enjoy ya bike. im dislexic and blonde thats just a bad combo !! and my son is but we get by
spell chcker is a good tool untill it gives you loads of choices !!! lol
I got dumped because she felt "She was holding me back!" If anyone knows me then stop laughing! I'm about the least driven person I know....Have got a TV show in the pipeline but then thats in very early stages and may never be made. I can still dream about the farm house and two labradors though!
To be fair she was very very needy and insecure, dad recently died, mum just had major brain surgery...lots fooked in her life, Guess I was Just one to many boxes in her head!
Still friends though and now after a week I'm getting to the point of happy to be friends. I could still chuck meself infront of a lorry sometimes though!
one day the wife said do yu love me ??i didnt answer fast enough!!an that was it!but its beutiful the freedom!no kids under my feet,noone sayin the grass needs cuttin!piss all over the floor leave the seat up, leave the washin up,skid marks are a work of art!socks an pants all over the place,get a hooker now an then [no headaches,no refusals] come on bm now an then for a laugh,ride me bike much as i like,life is pretty damn good!pity not many yrs left to enjoy it!!!bugger!!
well i dont have that prob of gettin DUMPED the guys just dont come near me lol as they say i have to much BAGGAGE (6 kids) and run spineless twats lol and anyway as i said to one guy, my kids arent baggage they are humans just you are, and if you carnt hadle that then FECK OFF lol
difficult havin kids!the male lion will kill any kids not hiswhenhe takes up with a new mate,an its a fact that men may an i say may! get violent with kids who arent thiers!women should never let a man move in with her an her children,untill they are at least 18 an can take care of themselves there are exceptions of course but generally it means friction and misery eventually! an the guy movin on probably leavin the womanwiv another bundle of joy!!
I don`t often speak out to criticise something publically but i don`t think a pm would suffice here. Tangoman I think you are talking absolute bollocks
"its a fact that men may an i say may! get violent with kids who arent thiers"
Yes you say "may" but the implication is still there an the only reason i`m making my objections public is out of respect for the many male members of this site who are, I daresay, fuming at having read the above. I`ve had boyfriends who`ve developed fantastic relationships with my son and loved him as if he were their own. Where do you get your information from???? is there a book that I should be reading??
Yes it can be difficult for any man or woman to take on their partners children but I don`t think you`re giving mothers enough credit here. Intuition is a wonderful thing and i`m sure any mother would realise intuitively if her partner was harbouring potentially violent tendencies. I`d go so far as to say that the man would be physically abusing the woman long before her child.
Yes you have an opinion and you have a right to voice that opinion but if your thoughtless comments attract a number of negative and angry replies then all I can say is that you`ve asked for it!
Hi, been reading through this forum, on the above i had a relationship,now over with a chap who attacked my daughter after we had lived together for two years,he could not cope with teenage tantrums.
Women have to be carefull and trust their own judgement, there are plenty of great chaps out there who love kids and would love to be part of a family again, ( i cant seem to find one though even as the kids are older and moved away).
Everybody iscautious and we need to take time to get to know people first and not rush things.
Any lonely sould down my way?
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