What made find this site was..................?
Finding out that my wife has been secretly, though not now, seeing another bloke.
She isn't a biker and doesn't understand how we think, say or do.
However, she still is meeting him and thinks it OK to do so, as I now know and it's 'just a friendship' with no sex involved.
The fact that this has occurred has ripped me up deeply. I don't have many friends due to the last divorce, when my so called mates sided with the ex, even though she was sleeping with another man.
Anyhow, it's a bad time for me..........I'll get over it........................... what are your bad relationship stories...................It'll make me feel better knowing that someone is having a worse time.........please only limited fiction............
Love to all for taking notice............live N leeds.
/ Bradford if you wanna buy me a drink and gt a wet shoulder.
My Ex (no most my ex's) cheated.
Ex wife put it about twice, she got her self caught by being too blaze about the 2nd one, (never found out who he was but I knew the 1st one), he came into my then work place oblivious to me knowing what I knew. I got right in his face and told him I knew he'd shagged my wife it had split the family and added this "if i see you again I will break both your legs" all this within 3 feet of my managers office so said through gritted teeth, never seen colour drain out of a smarmy gits face quite that quickly before or since........
So I'm currantly very single lol. (btw not actually a violent person lol)
For me, it's just been about getting back into biking, finding out about events, getting some tips about learning to ride, bike recommendations & hopefully picking up a few new mates along the way... meeting someone special was the unexpected cherry on top.
Have you tried explaining to your wife about how you feel? (& I mean explaining, in a calm and reasoned manner, not having a shouting match) Communication is key in any relationship. As indeed, is trust.
Presumably you're still together as you say she feels it's ok to continue seeing this friend now that you're aware of the situation?
Hi Dynatone and welcome to BM.
I too split with my ex after 23yrs married, tho we just grew apart. My passion has always been in bikes, and my ex had no interest in them whatsoever. So after an amicable, but still very painful split, (which amongst other things, led to me having quite a bit of time off work), I started surfing the web to find sites that could get my back into biking. BM was one of the first I came across.. and, well I stayed !
I have been a member since Feb 08 and have met some really great ppl, and made lots of friends. Check the events page for meetings/ride-outs etc, and get yourself along.
You will be surprised, how many of us have been through a similar thing.
I came here to look at pictures of pretty biker girls!!!
I make no bones about this.
I was also just looking to see who was around my local area.
I stayed because I got talking to people after having read their profiles. The rest of you are "cool" enough that I feel sufficiently motivated to grace your forum with my divinely opinionated presence and keenly pretentious wit.........
And no, I cannot say that with a straight face!!!!!
Seriously, I came to look at pretty girls, found some cool people in addition (I hear TeeCee makes for a very pretty girl ) and stayed for the fun!!!
I'm currently trying to get both the Other Half and an acquaintance from another networking site to join up here!!
Bad relationships.....
I had a string of 'em who were all Vegetarians, rith recently deceased fathers and a pocket full of social interaction issues.
Many decided they were lesbians.
Had one who stopped in the middle of something very intimate to 'commune with the spirits' in a corner of the ceiling.
Had one who wet the bed.
The one I kicked out of my life most recently actually became a liability and a threat to the stability of my life. She was also a very inconsiderate rider and the reason I crashed twice.
So yeah, it ain't just you, mate!!
I am a magnet for head-f'ked women!!!
Much like karey...i left after 20 years....we still friends but just grew appart. And i refused to live where I was unhappy and miserable and make everyone around me the same...rather be on my own. I still have more emotional baggage then I first thought....but hey ho...im working through it. I just wanted to get back to being a Pillion and looking to make friends. Surfed the net and found 2 sites...am a member of both. Being a member on both these sites and meeting some fab ppl has given me courage to slowly get out there again and even try something new......everyone is always supportive and has great advice.
I still have trouble with meeting new people face to face but sooner or later I will loose that as well.
But I suggest talk to your Wife...I mean really talk !!!
The other trick with relationships I reckon, is not to punish your current/next OH for the sins (perceived or real) of your past OH's.
Just because one man/woman has shagged around behind your back, doesn't mean to say they all will.
Just because one man/woman was jealous, possessive and abusive, doesn't mean to say they all are.
But if you distrust your new partner and believe them capable of hurting you, shagging around on you, or whatever else that's your issue, sooner or later, they'll either deliver precisely what you don't want them to (enabling you to perpetuate the personal myth you've created for yourself that all men/women are Bar Stewards) or they'll just get fed up of being punished for someone else's actions and move on.
You might not have much choice or control over other peoples actions, but you ALWAYS have a choice in how you react to those actions and how you let them affect you. Yes, you can be hurt by something, but ultimately it's really up to you how long you allow yourself to perpetuate that hurt.
:o)
bluesbiker In: Birmingham in th
Posts: 2510
Karma:
There are two sides to every story. And i'm sure there's a lot of stories on here to tell. I'm sure mine isn't much different to many. Wife left for another bloke.....Blah blah. The thing is i know that i played a big part in that. Neither of us hate the other. Lessons learned.
You can sit in the pub crying in your beer or move on and pick up the pieces. Life's too short to waste it feeling bitter. And it's the last thing any prospective GF/BF would want to hear all night on a date i'm sure.
What took me 5 paragraphs to say has been summed up perfectly by Bluesbiker there!
One day I'll learn the meaning of "concise" ... can I even spell it? ;o)
3 sides to a story though... "your" side, "my" side and the "truth"... ;o)
Hi Dynatones!
I think I found the site through ebay after I had ordered some bike stuff, but I could be wrong.
Joined initially as I thought it might be helpful to have a mindbank of experienced riders for me to quiz but actually enjoyed the craic. I haven't really treated it as a dating site as I am pretty much a loner and do my own thing and am quite happy with that.
I am sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time at the moment and can understand why that is. As Silvi said, you have to really have a frank and honest talk with your wife, especially about why she felt she had to keep this male friend a secret - it might not be as sinister a reason as you thought.
I don't know if this will help you or not but I thought I would share it with you in the hope it may bring you even the tiniest slice of peace of mind. I used to go out for meals with two very attractive women maybe once a month, i.e. find a fancy restaurant and just sit there the three of us talking crap and having a great time. These are both married women and we met once a week in the health club and the meals were a result of us getting on so well. One of the husbands asked his wife if me and her were sleeping together (he had testicular cancer), so I met with him, had a really good chat and reassured him that it was a totally platonic thing.
It IS possible to have a platonic relationship with someone elses wife but I cannot comment on your situation as I know none of the parties involved.
I also understand how you feel, especially considering your previous circumstances and your trust being betrayed etc. but I hope you find a solution real soon.
There are some very wise people on here who have been through similar things as you but unfortunately I am not one of them so any help I can offer would only be theory. However, I am always a PM away if you need to chat.
Best Wishes,
TC
I joined because most other biker network sites are full of crude biggoted idiots that are only interested in spreading barstool Bulls*it such as "I have the fastest" and "I held it up with my knee" types.
I like this site because theres a good mix of experiance, bike styles and characters. Its nice to be on a site where the word C*nt is not used in every posting.
I've also made some good friends through the site who I wouldn't have met otherwise, this site is also helping me get back into the biking social scene after a long time out of it (although I have always ridden)
Its also nice to be able to pass on my experiance to new riders or learners and I also have learnt stuff here too.
I'm not interested who's fastest, richest or who has the latest whiz bang toy (but can't ride it!).
Virtually everyone I have met through the site I would happily sit and have a pint with , just don't expect me to pay for it! ARF ARF!
I drifted in here from Matt's other site Bike Chat. That was (and is) populated by some very decent people but can be a little slow, so I clicked the link to BM, watched for a while and cam to the conclusion that there were a lot of (fairly) sane people here and then signed up. It's certainly helped me get through the last year or so. Domestic confessions time: my wife has a particularly nasty combination of psychiatric and neurological illnesses that saw her go round and round the revolving door of the local mental health unit over six years or so, until two years ago she went away and has never come home. She never will, and I'm off to check out a care home on Friday. Her memory span is about five minutes, and news like our daughter's new school comes as a fresh surprise to her every day. Last year my mother in law, who lived with us, died, and since then I've been on my own. The first time a social worker said 'now you're a single parent', I looked round the room to see who she was talking about! Working late evenings from home doesn't help either. Enough of the self-pity, I'm just grateful for the chance to get out and meet/talk with like minded people.
It IS possible to have a platonic relationship with someone elses wife
And should positively be encouraged IMO... Same sex friendships are great and I wouldn't be without my girlfriends for the world, but some of my best buddies are male and I really believe it's important to have both male & female influences in your life.
I know precisely what you mean Ghostie... I dislike the word "can't" intensely myself
Tough times Wills - I don't see any self-pity coming through though... You're just dealing with the brown smelly stuff life's thrown at you the best way you know how and you're making new friends along the way, who hopefully have helped you a little, even if unknowingly. Can't have been an easy time for you or your family. I truly hope you all find some peace and an ongoing way to cope.
Its nice to be on a site where the word C*nt is not used in every posting.
Cant: noun
1/. Stock phrases that have become nonsense through endless repetition
2/. A slope in the turn of a road or track; the outside is higher than the inside in order to reduce the effects of centrifugal force
3/. Insincere talk about religion or morals
4/. Two surfaces meeting at an angle different from 90 degrees
5/. A characteristic language of a particular group (as among thieves)
Plenty of C*nts and C*nting going on here!!!!!
:D
See, it takes only a few braincells to call someone a fecking c*nt.
It's far better to use your creativity......
"Curs'd be the blacksmith, who forg'd the axe which fell'd the tree, from which was carv'd the headboard of the bed of the parents of the driver of the carriage, in which your mother and father first met!!!!!!!!!".
Now that insult can really be spoken with venom!!!
I really cant remember how i found this site, i think i googled bike forums as i was looking at doing my CBT and was searching for advice. I found that in spades, and since passing my test, i pop in most days to see if there is anything i should know about. I too have never treated it as a dating site, more like a social site for like-minded people. I have met some wonderful people through it, hopefully some of them will be friends for life. If i happen to meet a partner through it, then all well and good, but its not an expectation. I too have emotional baggage, some of which i doubt i will ever be rid of, but thats life.
I've been here over a year now, and although i dont post much, i enjoy reading about other people's experiences and take on board some of the advice given. So well done folks, keep up the good work!
after upsettin everyone on biker junction i wandered over here!didnt get on well wiv peep's to start with but have mellowed out [i think!]first time i ever rode in a group[always bin a bit of a loner!] was through here an very enjoyable to! like to make more meets but other activities an workin wkds plus the crap weather this summer havent helped!jus lookin fer chat an freinds really cant see me gettin hooked up with anyone again!!
This site was a 'happy accident' for me Coming up to a year ago I'd set up a MySpace and this kept appearing for ages as an advert, so I clicked on it one day, and well, the rest is a brilliant year, made some wonderful friends off it with the biggest hearts, had some amazing laughs and travelled to places I would have never seen otherwise, and known amazing kindness and gestures. Cheers you lot, you know who you all are XX
I wanted a biker blokie.... not necessarily a "full on" biker, but one who has that willingness -
to try something new
to push/improve themselves
to enjoy life and deal with bad things that happen that are not your fault and are completely out of your control AND still be able to move on
etc.
I know not all bikers are like that, but there are probably more bikers who ARE like that than those who are not.
Yeah, that about sums it up.
An ad for this site came up just at the right time, so I signed up ("charged in here with guns blazing" as I had once described), paid my 4 pounds, and here I am.
Bad relationships? Heck, I try to rejoice in the fact that I can only feel pain because I am alive.
came on hear to find new friends
look at pritty woman and have some fun, haha
finds osme one to ride with bike I mean,
and what made me come on hear well no one just got told about it came on to look and stayed made some really good friends and always have a laugh,
can just be who I am and enjoy life. and if I can make others smile along the way,
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I got told about the site by another bikermatch person, thought why not take a look in and here I still am. Like others have said met some lovely people, had some fun times and great meet ups including camping week ends.
I am single after a marriage of just under 29yrs, my ex is now married to my sister who was my best friend, so I lost all OUR friends when that happened as people didn't know what to say or who to stay friends with, as well as it causing a big split in a very close knit family. Am I bitter or angry about it, no way I now have a life that I could never have dreamed of, I ride a bike which is something that had never even entered my head to do until I needed to make a new life(I grew up with a huge phobia about even walking passed a stationary motorbike) but most of all I have a wealth which no money could ever buy me, I have a wealth of real lovely friends who like me for me now and not for what I had before.
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