Just after some feedback really, as it seems people on here meet up regularly without any drama, and I am beginning to feel it must be me who attracts loonies on the internet :)
Having recently moved to a new area, I thought the internet would be a good way to meet people with similar interests, so I signed up to a couple of sites.
I gave my MSN out to one guy who decided during our first conversation that I wasn't answering him quick enough and then proceeded to spit his dummy out big time and that was the end of that lol
I then got chatting to another guy, who seemed very similar to me etc and after a few chats I gave him my phone number - well what a mistake that was. I have had a week of constant phone calls/texts wanting to know my every whereabouts and then when I don't answer him I get the "what have I done wrong" text...
Last night I finally lost my rag and told him to basically piss off and leave me alone. I am now being bombarded with the "you stuck up cow" texts .... oh what joy lol
So, is it just me or has everyone attracted bunny boilers at some point - only I am rapidly losing the will to live lol and a life of celibacy is rapidly becoming my number one priority at the moment.
Hiya,
Nope you definitely aren't alone on that score. I had one really awful experience which ended up with a restraining order after the gentleman (and I use that term loosely) who wouldn't take no for an answer threatened to blow my head off with a shotgun. He had initially been really nice, funny blah blah and after our 2nd date turned up on the doorstep with a transit van containing all his possessions 'coz we might as well make this more permanent'. It did scare the life out of me and made me really wary for quite a while. Now though I've met a lovely guy via the internet and it's going really well so I'd just say be careful but don't rule the internet out. It's just as easy to meet a nutter in the pub!
You gotta laugh at it really TAT2DVEGAN, the world is chokka of loonies, although most of them prefer to remain faceless and anonymous on t'interweb.
I know a few ladies who have suffered their fair share of nut-jobs and cranks, but in the main they find the internet a good tool for finding and meeting people. I think as long as you bide by a few simple rules, then you're okay. 1st, don't give out any personal details like phone number/e-mail unless you feel you can really trust the person and, 2, try to arrange a mutual meet asap so you can get a better idea of the sort of person they are.
I had a really bad do at the beginning of the year and started e-mailing/texting a local lass who suddenly spat her dummy out when I mentioned that I'd been on a bike ride with an old friend (female). She knew my late wife was receiving care for her illness and suddenly started telling me that my wife would die soon anyway. I was horrified and just stopped with any contact immediately.
It's such a shame that ladies (especially) have to suffer such freaks via the internet as they are (in the main) vunerable enough anyway. Rest assured though, us blokes do get the odd bunny boiler as well.
Shame really, it spoils it for the decent blokes (like me) out there, but don't tarnish us all with the same brush and stick with it.
because BM has become more of a social site than a dating one, there is less of this than from other sites.
Its not to say it doesn't happen - and that's precisely why I don't allow people to give out personal contact details. If you keep ur contact on BM only then you can block people, and I can always help you. If you give out your phone num - then you should expect problems.
Treat people online like anyone else in life, folks u meet in a club or pub etc. Then u wont go wrong
I could write a book about the amount of unsuitable men I've encountered over the last 9 years, and I dare say so could they about me
Folk on the internet are the same OFF it. No difference whatsover, some are 'normal' some are head cases / bunny boilers. Some do put on an act when they're on the net but if ya chat to them long enough (usualy pretty quickly) they give themselves away.
I especially get a cob on when I'm asked for my MSN addy 'so I can chat to you' then they don't even bother chatting, or if they do it isn't long before the conversation turns to sex.
Most folk my age have some baggage that's been collected over the years, only some folk insist on dragging it around with them and unpacking it with monotonous regularity, so what's starts out as a 'normal' relationship rapidly declines into one of Agony Aunt and client. I think I'll start charging a consultation fee.
It aint easy trying to find someone you 'gel' with, sometimes it starts off fantastic and you think 'mm maybe he/she is the one' but mostly it turns out differently.
All I can say is...if you like having a partner, to share life with, then don't let the loons put you off, thankfully NOT ALL MEN are the same.
Good Luck and let us know when you meet a normal one, we'll have him tagged
There's not much I can add that's new to the thoughtful comments that have already been posted, other than to say I agree with them completely.
At a more pratical level, if you're on the west side of Manchester maybe give a thought to a trip down the M62/East Lancs road to the Scotch Piper just north of Liverpool, where a group of five or so BM regulars get together at the Wednesday bike night.
I'm not suggesting you should drop everything and come charging over tonight, as the weather may be a bit iffy, but it would be a chance to put faces to names in a safe environment. Either that or join one of the weekend runs to somewhere like Squires Cafe, Rivington or Matlock.
Fraglette often comes over from Rawtenstall so there may be some scope for linking up at the Manchester end.
Just a thought.
TAT2DVEGAN, I should have looked at your profile first! There's no reason why you can't join up with us by car until you complete your training on a bike. We won't hold it against you.
The BMW club's monthly meetings are not far from you, in Hale Barns. It's nice for me to go 'cos at 50-something I still feel like one of the youngsters!
thanks for the replies and its nice to know that there I am not in the minority when attracting loons :)
I will definately come along and meet you all, I am on holiday in 2 weeks time so will plan it for then, as at the moment I work so many stupid hours I have forgotton what a social life is
i met a lady an she said doin diy together turned her on!i quickly rendered her walls painted her doors laid her floors but when i tried to make amour i was shown the door!!!![tangoman60 mug o the year!!]
yep - u just gotta use common sense.
I've now (honestly) lost count of how many people have emailed me moaning because they're being harassed after giving out their phone number. Tough I say now - read the rules, they're there for your own protection.
Look after yourselves, and if there's anything I can do then I will. And I always act quickly in such circumstances as do all the other staff here. The staff are here to make your comfortable safe and enjoyable... nobody should have to put up with abuse, harassment or nuisance.
You sound as though you are just going through a bad spell TAT2DVEGAN. It's like that with online dating. Actually it's like that in life.
As others have said, keep the chat to via an online dating site for as long as possible, especially if it's one that hides your email address from the recipient. Possibly, also, don't sign up with anything like your real name, and don't pass it on till you feel safe. Same goes for your MSN / Yahoo / AIM / ICQ / IRC instant messaging contact name. Even have a different one for IMing from your real email address.
If you get to the point of exchanging phone numbers, only make it your mobile number, and only , possibly, after your first real-world meeting.
When meeting in the real world, make it a very public place, and tell a friend where you are. A sealed envelope to only be opened in emergancy could take the stress off the friend if you don't want to pass on details if all is OK. One option is to get a friend to phone/text you halfway through the evening so you can "leave to deal with an emergancy" if you need a "get away from this loony quick" excuse.
Some of this may sound over causious, and there really are very few loonies out there, but, like when riding, consider all the options before makeing a decision to do something/go somewhere.
Oh, and the next date might just be "MR RIGHT", so keep trying. ;-)
Matt,
Dunno how this could work, but how about having a 'reference' section where other users can vouch for members. Sort of like a 'friends of' section. I know they do something like this on another site.
As you say, we're all grown-ups (well, perhaps not mentally lol) and we all know (or should know) how to act when meeting people in any situation and not just virtually.
Definite rule #1 - never give out your phone number/address unless you're 100% certain of the other person's sanity lol
TAT2DVEGAN you're not alone. I'm the one that the loonies sit by on the bus. I still am too trusting but thats in my nature. I do similar to what Berks_Biker says. There's always a mate who knows where I am and calls mid meeting if I'm worried. I've still got a couple of idiots who send me emails but I don't even bother opening them any more. I just hit the delete button. But saying that I've made some really nice friends on here
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