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Jokes, Games & Silly Things

Clever Insults

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Clever Insults

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Churchill, when a female member of Parliament told him that were he her husband, she would feed him poison... Churchill replied that were he her husband, he would take it!


Winston Churchill:Female MP says to Him: "Sir, you are drunk Churchill: "Yes Madam, and you are ugly, but tomorrow I will wake up sober"




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Skyejan @ 20/09/2014 20:12  

lmao , they are good

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fudet @ 21/09/2014 04:59  

Without Googling, I think the second one was directed at Lady Astor.

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Deleted Member @ 22/09/2014 01:06  

To an objectionable Wallasey barmaid - "Hasn't a house fallen on you yet?" http://magoo45.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/oz-witch-wiz...jhfhur.gif

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Deleted Member @ 22/09/2014 17:46  

Lol Lol Valencia!!

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Skyejan @ 22/09/2014 20:17  



"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork!" - Mae West

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Joey05 @ 23/09/2014 07:01  



"I am enclosing two tickets to my new play, bring a friend, if you have one!"

George Bernad Shaw to Churchill

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Joey05 @ 23/09/2014 07:02  

To which, IIRC, the reply was- "I look forward to attending your play's second night - if there is one."

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Deleted Member @ 23/09/2014 19:56  

Excellent! Lol

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Skyejan @ 25/09/2014 10:45  

"He's so ugly that when he appears on televison, Daleks hide behind the sofa." - Nick Hancock.

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Deleted Member @ 25/09/2014 19:13  



" He was so mean, it even hurt him to go to the bathroom" Britt Ekland on Rod Stewart

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Joey05 @ 28/09/2014 16:40  



Groucho Marx Vs. A Contestant on “You Bet Your Life”

Groucho: Why so many children?

Contestant: Well, Groucho, I love my wife.

Groucho: I love my cigar, but I take out of my mouth once in a while.

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Amanda @ 01/10/2014 20:38  

me to a flasher ........dose that come in adult size

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kaycat @ 01/10/2014 20:41  

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'm willing to make an exception." - Groucho Marx. (Had to be, really.)

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Deleted Member @ 01/10/2014 20:53  



Don't let your mind wander...it's too little to be out on its own..

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Joey05 @ 02/10/2014 07:38  



A British MP to Benjamin Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, sir," shot back Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

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Amanda @ 02/10/2014 10:48  

Not so much an insult about an individual, but the advertising industry. A letter to "Viz!" some time ago read something like this- “How impressed I was by Joanna Lumley’s performance in the recent TV advertisement for British Gas. It was a major factor in my decision to change the energy supply to my kitchen. Of course, I’d been cooking with f***ing Duracell batteries before then, hadn’t I.”

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Deleted Member @ 03/10/2014 20:44  

Me to one of my friend. You make me feel Intelligent.
Friend answers smiling. Oh thank you
? I think.

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fantasia @ 04/10/2014 12:24  

"You have a face like a million dollars. Green and wrinkled."

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Deleted Member @ 05/10/2014 20:40  

I like to say

Men are such idiots
and I married their king

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Deleted Member @ 06/10/2014 20:08  

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