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First drink

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happy jack
In: chipping norton
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FIRST DRINK YOU'RE GONNA LOVETHIS [OR HATE IT!] A MAN IS WATING FOR HIS WIFE TO GIVE BIRTH.THE DOCTOR COMES IN AND INFORMS THE DAD THAT HIS SON WAS BORN WITHOUT A TORSO,ARMS OR LEGS. THE SON IS JUST A HEAD! BUT THE DAD LOVES HIS SON AND RAISES HIM AS WELL AS HE CAN, WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION. AFTER 21 YEARS, THE SON IS NOW OLD ENOUGH FOR HIS FIRST DRINK. DAD TAKES HIM TO THE BAR, TEARFULLY TELLS THE SON HE IS PROUD OF HIM AND ORDERS UP THE BIGGEST,STRONGEST DRINK FOR HIS BOY.WITH ALL THE BAR PATRONS LOOKING ON CURIOUSLY AND THE BARTENDER SHAKING HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF,THE BOY TAKES HIS FIRST SIP OF ALCOHOL. SWOOOO!PLOP!! A TORSO POPS OUT! THE BAR IS DEAD SILENT; THEN BURSTS IN WHOOPS OF JOY.THE FATHER,SHOCKED,BEGS HIS SON TODRINK AGAIN.THE PATRONS CHANT"TAKE ANOTHER DRINK!" THE BARTENDER CONTINUES TO SHAKE HIS HEAD IN DISMAY. SWOOOOSH! PLIP! PLOP!! TOW ARMS POP OUT. THE BAR GOES WILD.THE FATHER,CRYING AND WAILING.BEGS HIS SON TO DRINK AGAIN.THE PATRONS CHANT"TAKE ANOTHER DRINK!TAKE ANOTHER DRINK!!" THE BARTENDER IGNORES THE WHOLE AFFAIR AND GOES BACK POLISHING GLASSES,SHAKING HIS HEAD,CLEARLY UNIMPRESSED BY THE AMAZING SCENES. BY NOW THE BOY IS GETTING TIPSY,BUT WITH HIS NEW HANDS HE REACHES DOWN,GRABS HIS DRINK AND GUZZLES THE LAST OF IT.PLOP!PLIP!! TWO LEGS POP OUT.THE BAR IN CHAOS. THE FATHER FALLS TO HIS KNEES AND TEARFULLY THANKS GOD. THE BOY STANDS UP ON HIS NEW LEGS AND STUMBLES TO THE LEFT THEN STAGGERS TO THE RIGHT THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR,INTO THE STREET,WHERE A TRUCK RUNS OVER HIM AND KILLS HIM INSTANTLY.THE BAR FALLS SILENT. THE FATHER MOANS IN GRIEF. THE BARTENDER SIGHS AND SAYS, [WAIT FOR IT] [IT'S COMING] [YA READY] [DONT HATE ME] [YA GONNA HATE ME] [TAKE A DEEP BREATH] HE SHOULD'VE QUIT WHILE HE WAS A HEAD.

FIRST DRINK YOU'RE GONNA LOVETHIS [OR HATE IT!]
 
A MAN IS WATING FOR HIS WIFE TO GIVE BIRTH.THE DOCTOR COMES IN AND INFORMS THE DAD THAT HIS SON WAS BORN
WITHOUT A TORSO,ARMS OR LEGS. THE SON IS JUST A HEAD! BUT THE DAD LOVES HIS SON AND RAISES HIM AS WELL AS HE CAN, WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION.
 
AFTER 21 YEARS, THE SON IS NOW OLD ENOUGH FOR HIS FIRST DRINK. DAD TAKES HIM TO THE BAR, TEARFULLY TELLS THE SON HE IS PROUD OF HIM AND ORDERS UP THE BIGGEST,STRONGEST DRINK FOR HIS BOY.WITH ALL THE BAR PATRONS LOOKING ON CURIOUSLY AND THE BARTENDER SHAKING HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF,THE BOY TAKES HIS FIRST SIP OF ALCOHOL.
 
SWOOOO!PLOP!! A TORSO POPS OUT! THE BAR IS DEAD SILENT;
THEN BURSTS IN WHOOPS OF JOY.THE FATHER,SHOCKED,BEGS HIS SON TODRINK AGAIN.THE PATRONS CHANT"TAKE ANOTHER
DRINK!"
 
THE BARTENDER CONTINUES TO SHAKE HIS HEAD IN DISMAY.
SWOOOOSH! PLIP! PLOP!! TOW ARMS POP OUT.
 
THE BAR GOES WILD.THE FATHER,CRYING AND WAILING.BEGS HIS
SON TO DRINK AGAIN.THE PATRONS CHANT"TAKE ANOTHER DRINK!TAKE ANOTHER DRINK!!" THE BARTENDER IGNORES THE WHOLE AFFAIR AND GOES BACK POLISHING GLASSES,SHAKING HIS HEAD,CLEARLY UNIMPRESSED BY THE AMAZING SCENES.
 
BY NOW THE BOY IS GETTING TIPSY,BUT WITH HIS NEW HANDS
HE REACHES DOWN,GRABS HIS DRINK AND GUZZLES THE LAST OF IT.PLOP!PLIP!! TWO LEGS POP OUT.THE BAR IN CHAOS.
 
THE FATHER FALLS TO HIS KNEES AND TEARFULLY THANKS GOD.
THE BOY STANDS UP ON HIS NEW LEGS AND STUMBLES TO THE LEFT THEN STAGGERS TO THE RIGHT THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR,INTO THE STREET,WHERE A TRUCK RUNS OVER HIM AND KILLS HIM INSTANTLY.THE BAR FALLS SILENT.
 
THE FATHER MOANS IN GRIEF. THE BARTENDER SIGHS AND SAYS,
[WAIT FOR IT]  [IT'S COMING] [YA READY]  [DONT HATE ME]
[YA GONNA HATE ME] [TAKE A DEEP BREATH]
 
HE SHOULD'VE QUIT WHILE HE WAS A HEAD.

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happy jack @ 12/12/2007 15:27