Contrary to popular belief god created eve first.After a few days he went down to check on her.She told him she was fine but didnt really need 3 breasts.God said 'fine' and removed the middle breast and threw it in the bushes.When he returned to check on Eve a few days later Eve told God that her two breasts were fine but she was lonely and would love to have a partner.God said 'no problem' he went into the bushes got the useless tit and made it into a man!!
Sheesh, TM.. I know...it's such a shame isn't it...
*crosses Izzy & DC off Christmas card list*
A childish and vengeful person would probably post some half-witty response....
*cough*
here goes....
Adam said he was feeling lonely and asked God for company. "I was thinking of making you a woman," said God. "What is a woman?" asked Adam. "Nearly a man, only curvier," said God, "and also sweet, caring and loving and at your beck and call. She will be an inspiration to you.""Gosh," said Adam, "how much will that cost?""An arm and a leg," said God."What could I get for a rib?" asked Adam.
I am a neutral in this (don't date women OR men...) but like to stoke the fires...lol
...has been known to date the odd (very odd) fawn,tho
and as for the stroking......
Well, as all good historians know, Stroking The Fawn is just another Victorian euphemism for Tipping The Velvet
Besides, anyone knowing just the tiniest amount about women will realise - posting any witicisms in response will result in never getting laid...... ever!!
Besides, anyone knowing just the tiniest amount about women will realise - posting any witicisms in response will result in never getting laid...... ever!!
That is why I thought I had better post it - nothing to lose!!
p.s. I thought Stroking the Fawn was the same as Muffin the Mule...
No, Muffin the Mule is something different....
Buttering the Muffin is similar, but more along the lines of Whistling Through the Wheat-field.
I actually have that photo through perfectly innocent means. I just can't look at it the same way, now!!!
Enough!
I've had just about all I can take from you pair of fawn-shaggers!
I expect your resignations on my desk first thing in the morning!
Disgusted
Northallerton!
Dear BBC
Why oh why oh why Do you have to publish such filth in a so called "family" magazine?
I had to shield my twelve year old, triple amputee,black,lesbian,dwarfs daughters eyes from this FILTH!
Imagine my embarresment and disgust at having to explain phrases such as " Stroking the Faun" and "Tipping the Velvet" well I have never been so shocked in all my life! (apart from when I found my Father (the honourable) Sir Malcom Pucestain "reinflating" our Footman Slapknacker using what Daddy called his special "man valve"...God bless Daddy we do miss him.
Yours in Disgust
(Ms) Lillian Scrungeflap (nee Pucestain)
I feel like I'm missing out... I'm off to Knoll Park at the weekend to get a pic of me and a fawn...
YES!! Why doesn't EVERYBODY try to get a fawn into their profile pics.... that will fool the newbies!!
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