Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. .... 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. ........ 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which last until you realize it was your money to start with. ..... 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. ...... 5. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people tha stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. ...... 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. ...... 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high ...... 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. ...... 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. ..... 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) ..... 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. ...... 12. Decafalon (n): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. ........ 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. ..... 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ...... 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. ....... 16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. ..... 17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. .....
that's great, brightened up my otherwise dreary day, I don't buy into the idea that we can see the colour of peoples aura, but I think I can already spot a bozone layer on someone in no time at all.
Arachnoleptic fit!!... Oh I've had many of those, it's the legs you see.... there's too many of em ......errrrrm the spiders i mean, not mine, i've still just got the two ( looks down to check ), yes, two is all it takes to get around surely... I mean 8!!!! really... that's overkill...it's so not necessary!,and so stressful to look at!
hehe!.know it well geez:o)....................sure you aint really a closet fan?!........sat there with yer fav teams scarf round yer neck!........jumpin up n down n shouting for joy when they score!lol..............
And a variation
Remove the first letter of a word and redefine it
Amished: Hungering for a simpler way of life.Assover: Any holiday dinner attended by an unwanted relative.Egotiation: An I for an I.Etard: A person who always clicks "Reply to All" on an e-mail only needed by the original sender.Iarrhea: Running on about oneself.Ickpocket: A place to put used Kleenex.Ompadre: A Buddhist priest.Ouch-and-go: A house call by a dominatrix.Pectacular: Endowed with an unbelievable chest.Rankfurter: A hot dog from a rally van.Riminal: A man who doesn't clean up his toilet dribble.Carification - ritual designs cut into the landscape by automobiles and roads ( One for TC)Lutocracy - rule or power of the music or the musicalEmoval - dumping unwanted files onto the internet rather than into the trash binlessed - what one is when the Holy Spirit has taken away gracelement - to grieve the loss of something fundamentalerpes - sexually transmitted dypepsiaecaffeinated - getting a buzz from being online
And More
Updated definitions of words
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent (alt usage) absence of Viagra
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Bustard (n.), a very rude bus driver.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline popular on this forum
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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