A rugby league fan is drinking in a London bar, when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds.Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the rugby fan just shrugs and replies, "That's about average in Yorkshire ... like I said, my boy's a typical Yorkshire baby boy. Gonna be a rugby league player."Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Yorkshire baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?"The proud father answers, "Twenty pounds." The bartender is puzzled,concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"The Yorkshireman takes a slow swig of his Tetley's bitter, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says "Had him circumcised..."
I have a mate who never has problems getting the girls. I don't know how he does it. He's ugly as sin. smells, swears and belches all the time but he just sits in the corner of the pub, licks his eyebrows and the girls come flocking.
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