Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
Blonde Sky DiversA blonde and a brunette are skydiving.The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
Blond medical terminologyArtery -- Study of paintingsBacteria -- Back door of cafeteriaBarium -- What doctors do when treatment failsBowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.UCaesarean section -- District in RomeCat scan -- Searching for kittyCauterize -- Made eye contact with herColic -- Sheep dogComa -- A punctuation markCongenital -- FriendlyD&C -- Where Washington isDiarrhea -- Journal of daily eventsDilate -- To live longEnema -- Not a friendFester -- QuickerFibula -- A small lieG.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball gameGrippe -- SuitcaseHangnail -- CoathookImpotent -- Distinguished, well knownIntense pain -- Torture in a teepeeLabor pain -- Got hurt at workMedical staff -- Doctor's caneMorbid -- Higher offerNitrate -- Cheaper than day rateNode -- Was aware ofOutpatient -- Person who had faintedPelvis -- Cousin of ElvisPost operative -- Letter carrierProtein -- Favoring young peopleRectum -- It almost killed himRecovery room -- Place to do upholsteryRheumatic -- AmorousScar -- Rolled tobacco leafSecretion -- Hiding anythingSeizure -- Roman emperorSerology -- Study of knighthoodTablet -- Small tableTerminal illness -- Sickness at airportTibia -- Country in North AfricaTumor -- An extra pairUrine -- Opposite of you're outVaricose -- Located nearbyVein -- Conceited
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?A: To avoid the draft.Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?A: Trying to hold on to a thought.Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?A: They don't know the route.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
======================================================
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine? A: "Daddy! can I go to Miami!
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?A: Blow in her ear.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?A: There are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved.
Q: Why do blondes look up and smile at lightning?A: They think someone is taking their picture.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline!
Q: Why do blondes have square breasts? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q: Why can't blondes count to 70? A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?A: Some traffic signs say stop.
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the waitress when reading her nametag? A: "Mary... that's cute. What did you name the other one?"
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? A: The noise gave her a headache.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747.
Q: What do blondes say after sex?A: "Thanks, guys!"
There were three dumb blonde girls on an island who found an old pot and started rubbing at it, when suddenly out popped a genie. The genie told them that he only could grant 3 wishes so they would each get one. The first girl asked the genie to make her smarter so she got turned into a red-head.The second girl wanted to be even smarter than the first, so the genie turned her into a brunette.Then the last girl wished to be even smarter than both her friends......so the genie turned her into a MAN.
![joke - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![joke - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
