A five year old granddaughter is taken to school daily by her grandfather. On one occasion he had a bad cold so his wife took the grandchild. That night she told her parents that the ride to school with granny was very different! "What made it different?" asked her parents. "Gran and I didn't see a single tosser, blind bastard, dick-head, prick or wanker anywhere on the way to school today!'
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW PLAYSTATION... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"