Hey. Been in two relationships with guys with kids. First one the ex partner gave us so much gip cause I was getting on with the eldest boy I just had to back out as it was planting a wedge between us. I think it was when the little one went back to his mum saying what a good time he had had with me! the second was down to him wanting me to meet them from the off then backing out 3 months later when I thought it was a good time and was looking forward to it. Can't win either way. Still been laid up with a major back problem for last year so been single for that time. Better now so raring to go, hence my first bike. Got a lot of cating up to do!!
It's like all things in life.If you really want to get what you want from life you'll make sacrifice's.I've got two kids myself & I'm not looking for a replacment mother for them.despite our difference's the one thing I can say about my x is she's the best mother I've ever seen.
If a couple get together at our age group then it's more than likely there will be kids from a previous relationship involved,it takes time for the kids to adjust to someone else with their Mum/Dad.Allowances have to be made for them as their children.As adults then then isnt it up to us to know that?
i got dumped cos my kids didn't like him,
i've been divorced for 2 years now & if i look at another man my kids say dont like him & they in their 20s, but its alright for them to have b/friends, if i find someone esle i'm not telling them even though one lives with me..
when i got devorced, i stayed on my own for a couple of years as my kids were teenages an going through a rough time, as my ex just forgot about them an moved down south.
Ah well his loss, coz they've turned into really good adults now, an he's trying for a new family with the new wife lol, just hope he stays around for them
in a perfect world oggy!!i was tryin discuss![what are forums for?] that shackin up with a bloke[or girl!] an expectin perfect harmony wiv your kids is a bloody tall order an full of potholes suddenly uncle or auntie so an so who is nice on a infrequent basis becomes authority![an has to be not so nice now an then!] i know it can jus possibly work!jus mentionin it maybe wont an be bloody careful!!
tagon - if your kids are in their 20's, they are not kids and they need to realise that u have a life of ur own and u need to live it. So go girl, go................... and do whatever YOU want. They are grown up now and its YOUR time.
nice thought but blood runs thicker an tagon will always take in account wat her children think,itll take a lot of work on the tagon to be partner to win them over,a lot will fall by the wayside but u never know life is full of surprises!!
I've been on my own on/off for 11 years, my girls were very young, when their dad + i split up, he was even jealous of the girls, hated the fact that i put them first, he never bothered for about 3yrs, once he got together with his new mrs ( 6yrs or so ago) it was her that got him seein the girls again, it started off as once a month, at first i used to phone them all the time, just to make sure they were ok, now my oldest is 17, my youngest is nearly 12, they go once a fortnight, and no, i don't phone anymore, lol, (unless i really need to of course) their step mum and i get on fantastic, the girls get on with her too, it's great, i cannot fault her, I agree Tangoman, it took alot of work from the girls stepmum and me, he just sits back and lets us sort stuff out now, but then again we got on well really from day one, so i do class myself as lucky, i haven't got the hassle like alot of parents have.
I got rid of my ex and after a while i thought i would try the dating game again what a laugh??? did not know how much it has changed lol. Was seeing this bloke it was going ok till he asked why i always wore trousers i told him thats what i liked well did not see him anymore ???????? Did i complain coz thats all he wore lol.
mmm interesting and so many stories - isnt life/people/relationships complicated lol??? The thing is, older you get, the more life you have lived and history you have (notice the word history and not baggage - hate that word!!) Sometimes I think you just have to chill a bit, go with the flow and accept things may not be ideal or even how you imagined but they also change with time, getting to know one another and acceptance by all you love and are involved with. I was on my own for over 5 years with "grown up" kids - doesnt always make it easier, they kind of get used to having you all to themselves and often you over compensate for what you feel they have lost and been through, never mind yourself!!!!! People need time to get used to change as it doesnt go down well or easy with alot of em, time to get to know someone new and time to accept that we none of us are perfect (even if we think we are lol!!) Over analysing the situation, worrying about the past/present/future/everyone else just doesnt work and stops you growing/changing and moving on. My life changed full circle, when I least expected it and wasnt looking for it.............why? maybe luck, maybe love, but I think it was natural and meant to be.................I just went with what felt right, still do and although there are still pitfalls with kids, families, ex's along the way, I deal with them as they occur, never worry about them and just accept that one day, they too will become less/easier and maybe even disappear totally!!! Rome wasnt built in a day, nor is getting to know someone else/their family/build a relationship and move on...........................one day at a time, take it as it comes and accept that nothing stays the same anyway...................change often brings better happier things and times so be positive, have hope and just be yourself. Worked for me, and even if things change for good or bad, Im enjoying life again, my family may not totally understand or accept all my decisions but they are MY decisions and Im happy right now so what the hell!!! One day at a time, plenty of corners to turn and you never know who or what may be behind them when you least expect it...............BM brought me someone special, I hope you all find your something special too............whatever/whoever it may be...............
take care all, have hope, enjoy life.........thats the main thing
Sandy
x
Sandy I can totally agree with all you have said in your post on this thread. Especially about bm
It's a long twisty road with lots of corners to go around until we meet our destination.
I always think on the lines that if I didn't have the odd bad times/days how would I know a good times/days
I have learnt from past experience that talk in any relationship is so important just as much as laughter is.
I am so lucky with my girls who are grown up, they are fun (as those on here that met one of them last week end would tell you) they have given me so much support, love and encouragement in every step of my life and I am sure with out them I would not be achieving the things I am now, they have also never come between anyone I have dated, yeah there was one they didn't like but they certainly didn't interfere they were just there when I needed them.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime its not always evident at the time which one they fit into but life itself soons lets us know.
Too right Oggy.
Oh forgot to say in reply to the title of the thread I got dumped because he chose my sister instead, hey am I bothered no way he got the family bike I got mine from a showroom, my look over my shoulder is a life saver his is to see who she is eyeing up next, he is now her third hubby.
You can't chose your family but you can chose what bike you ride, I would never have dreamed of having a bike had this not happened to me, now I have a wealth no money could ever buy, I wealth of fantastic genuine friends
On of my exes, who was 10 years younger than me, dumped me because her mum fancied me. She didn't ask me about it first, just came round and shouted and screamed at me for encouraging her. She just couldn't stand her mum being in competition for my attention, even though she had her own place and spent a lot of her time alone with me. Weird thing was, I only met her mum twice for about 10 minutes each time, and I couldn't bloody stand the neurotic cow.
When I was 20 another ex dumped me because she suspected me of having an affair with her younger sister. It wasn't true, it was her far prettier elder sister I'd been seeing
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