Daytona man, console yourself with the knowledge that (most) women turn into their mothers...
Not everyone on this site has been dumped as the result of some relationship breakdown. There are those among us who, either through illness or death of a partner, are having to face a future alone. It's not nice, particularly where there are school-age children to be cared for, and there are times when, underneath the good humour, you just want to give up and let go.
This isn't a fishing expedition for sympathy, BTW, just saying how it is. The companionship and friendship from forums like this, and the face to face meetings that ocasionally follow, is beyond value.
Wills that is such a valid point you have made that not everyone is on their own because of a broken down relationship also not everyone is just out to find a relationship if we all only make one new friend a month in a year that will be 12 new friends we have.
There are a lot fo people out there that hide a lot of sorrow with an outside humour.
Willis, I can empathise with you on that one. My younger three (step)children don't have a natural father any more, he was killed in a car crash when my son was only 4 months old, leaving their mother a widow at 28.
It took a lot of heart searching before I plucked up the courage to start seeing their mother, and even though that relationship is now over I don't regret a minute of it. At worst I came away with three great children who I love to bits, and at best I came away with the three great kids and a good friend in their mother.
i think the main thing is to take each day as it comes an enjoy it, value your friends an be there for them, as any true friend will be there for you.
In this world a positive attertude will see us through in the end, count your blessings and not worry about what might not even happen.
Learn from our f**k up's An laugh about them afterwards
Well said Nutty
Its a point i think none of us had until now considered. There are a lot of people whose relationships have ended due to the loss of a loved one. I`ve never lost a partner in those circumstances and can`t begin to appreciate how you must feel but hold onto those happy memories and maybe one day you`ll be able to share them with the new friends you`ve made on Bikermatch.
Re. my past relationships... i can only hope i`ve learnt from bad experiences, i always say to myself that you have to experience the bad to know when the good has come along.
alot of very valid points and we all have our own experiences and stories to tell, good and bad for sure - I too lost my long term hubby due to a life threatening illness which changed him beyond recognition before we parted and he eventually died. Took alot of soul searching to end the relationship in such circumstances and it was I who had to make that decision in the end, after all one of us needed to be strong and around for the kids, no matter how old they were - 30 years together since kids was a long time but part we did much to alot of ppls surprise, yet we also remained "friends" once the dust had finally settled. Having the courage to do what is right is often very hard and heartbreaking but better than staying together for the wrong reasons. Theres nothing but bitter/sweet memories left of it for me now plus two very wonderful young well-adjusted adults we had between us which Im proud of and have remained very close to, despite the past heartache and pain. It's only with love and happiness my kids and I choose to keep and remember their dad by now but we've also let him go along with the bad times too. Final acceptance is necessary to retain health, sanity and move on into the future.- no point in continually questioning why, blaming, regretting or being angry about any of it any more. We have all moved on with health and sanity in tact and can at least rebuild new lives with others again. Ive certainly learnt that life is a journey, not all of it good or what you expect and hope for, but if you ride through it, weather the storms and remain positive and hopeful you can find the warmth and sunshine again........we're not all the same though, some of us need more space, time and understanding before we can rebuild something new again. Life isnt just about meeting a partner, its about being happy with yourself first and foremost, being able to live with yourself, your decisions and having the ability to know what you want and the courage to move on towards finding it. I assimilate meeting that someone special is like having the cherry on the top of the cake! But, you gotta get the cake mix right first and maybe get some icing on the top too if you can lol!!!! The cherry on the top is a bonus but if you never find the right cherry it's not the end of the world. Just getting the main recipe right is often a challenge in itself and having the cake without the cherry is better than putting up with the wrong one on top (if you get my drift!!) Five years on my own was challenging, different and sometimes lonely and lacking but it was never stressful, argumentative, "hell on earth" which I've been told that being with the wrong person can be. Besides, having time to yourself can help you you learn to come to terms with life and find your way again, see who really is there for you and be sure about what you do and dont want out of life, grow and become a better more stronger person.Gotta do all that before you can make things work with someone else surely? Id never have got into motorbikes let alone pass my test, buy and be riding my own now which led me to find my "cherry" on the top again if some of my heartaches didnt happen!!!! So for those of you still working on the recipe - bide your time, work it out and then aim for the icing - the cherry will take care of itself if it's meant to be - mine did lol!!!! Mmmmmm guess spending so much time being in that kitchen and making cakes did pay off for me after all lmao!! Food for thought uh? hope some of you find it useful/amusing or even a light at the end of what can seem a very dark tunnel sometimes........................
Sandy
x
ha ha typical bloke tangoman lmao!!! but agree, its always nice to have a nice cherry on the top too!!!!
ps important to keep on trying to get that cake recipe right although we cant all be good cooks can we lol!!!!
Sandy
xx
......also on the subject of cake mixes - you also gotta remember there are also more than a fair share of "fruit cakes" out there too (should really have danger or warning signs on em cos some you just wouldnt spot otherwise they look almost normal lmao!!). In my experience always best to avoid em like the plague - may be a novely and funny/intriguing for a short time, but definately not good for the mix or your sanity long term!! - best left in the cake tin on their own and only taken out on rainy days if nothing better to do (although personally Id sooner poke me eyes out first lmao!!!!!)
Sandy
x
fruit cake means sommat else to me an i defo wont be goin there!![although not havin much luck wiv the ladiies]in the meann of fruit cake bein a wacko[i have been called that!]i have had a coupla ladies that fit the bill an your right yu cant see em comin!!
I did the dumping , the reason the dirty dog decided to take up a jeremy kyle rejects offer of oap sex over the road from where we lived, while i was away modelling and trying to forge a carrer.
I am rather pleased now as he has shown me what a dirty dog he is.
Roze
Everything was all ok and we'd been together 5 years. I went away with
the bike club for a weekend 18 months ago (it was the first weekend I'd
been away with them). Came back to find she had turfed me out into the
spare room. The reason - "it isn't working". Hmmm.... ok, so why
not? Never found out for sure...
Then came the worst bit - sorting out who keeps the house. I did and
got ripped off by her and life was not too good for 6 months until it
was all sorted, but I'm glad I kept the house on.
You live and learn (hopefully).
Now, I do like being on my own and living on my own and I'm happy in
that respect, but ..................................
Mmmmm, how apt!
Mine - he decided to 'dump' on me two weeks before 15th wedding anniversary. And the cheeky bleeder filed for divoce 6 months after citing my unreasonable behaviour cos ' of my persuit of my hobby of motor bike riding'. But I'ld only passed me test 6 months before, living on the bliddy IoM and even bought me my bike! Durgh Jack ARSE hole!
Now i can look back and say the he was SAD - I obviously wasnt allowed to have a life of my own!
Now I can say - one of the most effective changes I have made in recent years in my life.
And do you know what - I AINT BITTER HEE HEE
I usual feel or see the dumping coming so i make like the rabbit out the trap on dog night.
but maybe one day i will not see it comeing because my head is on clound nine
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