A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychologywhen he turned to his wife and said,"Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy andsad, at the same time."She replied. "You have the biggest dick of all your friends."
A man is walking in London, and its raining, so he decides to take shelter in a peek-a-boo sex shop.
Paying £50, he is confronted by 3 doors, they read blonde, brunette or red head.
He chooses blonde, only to be confronted by 3 more doors, reading small t*ts, medium t*its or big t*ts.
He chooses big t*ts, only to be confronted by yet another 3 doors, they read small c**t, large c**t or wet c**t.
He chooses wet c**t and finds himself back in the rain!
A feller was laying in bed with his new Thai wife after an exhausting romp,she keeps her hand on his p***s for a long time after the event,he feels chuffed by this & ask her 'you like my c*** that much then?' she replies ' I just miss mine sometimes'
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt ttwoo inchesss ththiickk...aaand rrunns by bbaatteries ?
Ther's more XKLYBR......
Guy says to wife "What would you do if i won the lottery ?".
Wife say's" I'd take half and leave you ".
Guy say's. "Excellent "Iv won a tenner here's a fiver.......now f...k off".
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