Paul 5 is a mega number you just need to see it, but as a bluenose you obviously walk round permanently with your eyes shut or why else would you support them prey tell ??
the dark side kicks in and i use the force to stop the ball dead in its tracks whereupon it explodes shooting fireworks high into the air, the touch judge starts sneezing loudly as she suffers from hayfever, all whilst i eat strawberries and cream, sing a duet with Sir Cliff, point laughingly at your pink velour shorts and re mark the lines on the court as they were wearing thin due to my ninja liek movements around the court
bluesbiker In: Birmingham in th
Posts: 2510
Karma:
There is a number of scenarios that i would find my self laughing uncontrolably at the vile.
1. we beat em at vile park.
2. We finish above them at the end of the season.
3. As number 1 but they finish the season 2 points short of getting into europe.
4. They get relagated.
I'll just be happy with staying up ourselves.
ooooooo
“the dark side kicks in” So admitting you belong to the dark side and therefore certain doom BJ. I cite “The Empire V The Rebel Alliance, Star Wars 1977” where a legal and moral precedence was set. I.E. the “Dark Side” never wins. To quote Private Frazer from Dads Army……You’re Doomed, doomed I tell yer…..
Leaping higher than a kangaroo on heat from an Olympic size trampoline he delivers a forearm smash at the speed of light, while getting the umpire to marry me and the afore mentioned touch judge (who still looks like Olivia Newton John) while we both do a sword dance singing auld lang syne at the same time sticking our thumbs up our noses and furiously wiggling our fingers at you. Double whammy, The Dark side reels with disbelief LMAO (yet again at your expense)
BTW mines a pint of abbott ale followed by yuk sung, roast duck with bamboo shoots and a bowl of mr whippy to finish off,....HA
Naaah not at all kwack. BJ thought she could take me on at "BM forum tennis"
think she's finally met her match....(pardon the pun)
♪♪ Oh.. its all gone quiet over there, ♪♪♪
Never say never Paul, I find your lack of faith disturbing, You don't know the power of the dark side, Obi-Wan has taught you well but you are unwise to lower your defenses !<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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With a gentle flick of the wrist I lob the ball into the air higher then the empire state building, whilst waiting for its descent I sing and record my Christmas single (which I have no doubt will be No 1 in the charts), create the video to go with it and edit it, make a personal appearance on Maury to try to find out ‘who is my Father’, whereupon the ball falls out off the sky knocking out the umpire just at the point were he says ‘does anybody have any just cause as to why these two should not be joined in wedlock’, bounces just in front of the line 30-15 me thinks <o:p></o:p>
Count your chickens not BJ... at home we are 2nite to blackburn....you on the other hand have a tricky away fixture at sunderland...see who's laughing 2nite we shall....
Is that really the best the dark side can do,
oh well, while waiting for the ball to descend he takes a casual stroll to the changing room for a quick shower and change of clothes because he’s PHSL yet again at the “dark one” . On his return he calls in the Millennium Falcon, who’s wing tip deflects the ball away from the umpire and the ceremony is completed.He dives towards the ball pressing the nitrous oxide button on his MK VI “anti dark side racquet” launching a “heat seeking thermo nuclear ball” towards the hot air emanating from the other side of the court while proclaiming his undying love for his new Mrs touch judge ( who, incidentally, still looks like Olivia Newton John) who declares all your balls as “out” anyway. Whist at the same time reciting the entire works of Shakespeare to my beloved and bowing to my wildly ecstatic fans in the crowd. .who are being orchestrated by the umpire, chanting VFR,VFR,VFR and applauding wildly to meBTW, I’ll finish the last lot off with a nice bottle of 2001 Beaujolais Nouveau thanx…start booking the overtime I have expensive tastes yer know, especially when a “claret and blue” is paying 15-30 to me I think Pah ! amateurs
............Jackie/Paul.........have you given any serious thought to the fact you could well be writing a 'best seller' here..........honost it knocks spots off bridget jones diary and look how successful that was...............................
What made me laugh?
This...
(acdaft posted it in the 'Ever Wondered' thread)
Do Flys get headache went they fly into windows cos this daft sod thats flying round my house keeps banging his bonse on mi window. Oh dont matter now the dog's eaten it.
thanks AD
Uses the power of the dark side to unmask the new Mrs Paul aka ONJ lookalike as really a guy called Gerry who lives in Aston with his cock spaniel called Agbonlahor and his mother !!! Whilst at the same time deactivating the said “heat seeking thermo nuclear ball” and reprogramming to head for St Andrews which holds the world record for hot air. The umpire somehow spontaniously combusts. whilst proclaiming “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”
“Into the garbage chute, flyboy!” as you are thrown head first by thepower of my light saber, which i must inform you, i have just been picking starwberry seeds out m y teeth with !!!
All i can say is “When 900 years old, you reach… Look as good, you will not.”
30 all i believe
“The Dark Side of the Force is the pathway to many abilities some consider to be… Unnatural.”
Ooooo cheap shot straight to the go-nadds,
Oh ye of short memory….Do I have to remind you BJ of the 1963 League Final when Blues beat Villa 3 – 1 on aggregate…?????
Actually, Mrs Paul aka ONJ is not really a guy called Gerry who lives in Aston. This is just a disguise she uses as her under cover agent role when spying on the Villa for the Blues. The “dark one” has shown her true colours and tactical ineptness by sending a de-activated ball to St. Andrews…..The Crowd PTSL
Any way, Back to “Ooooo cheap shot straight to the go-nadds”luckily the force is with him and he is wearing a cricket box “just in case”. The CB takes the full force. As the ball drops towards the floor he picks his snot box and flicks in your general direction on the left “side line” as a “distraction tactic” and casually lobs the ball towards your right “side line”, whilst looking lovingly into the eyes of Mrs Touch Judge ( who’s looking more like ONJ by the minute) Meanwhile the umpire ( who is less than impressed with his near death experience at the hands of the “Dark One”) is studying the 1980 case files of the sequel to the afore mentioned “The Empire V The Rebel Alliance, Star Wars 1977”Satisfied he’s read enough he pulls the “ball Machine” out of his trousers and fires a rapid volley of 250 balls, faster than a rat up a drain pipe in you direction while proclaiming “The Umpire Strikes Back”.. …..The “Dark One” runs round in circles in total confusion like a dog chasing it’s tail, under a hail of balls that are raining down on her, while I PMSL at her expense….again.. HABTW, after I have polished off the 2001 Beaujolais Nouveau “Taxi driver to take me home, you can be,”…… 30 - 40 to me……surely ?????Waves arms over head in triumphant manner…………………………..
Never, Never, Clarissa could I consider any kind of Alliance with the "Dark side". Not in this life or the next, unless the dark one concedes defeat and proclaims publicly that Birmingham City Football Club are the finest in the land and sings "keep right on to the end of the road" at an annoyingly loud volume at the next event that is attended by no fewer than 45 BM members..... and...denounces AVFC, whilst at the same time getting a round of drinks in as a sign of repentance.....
Offer BJ a way out and the hand of friendship
Thats ok, no probs, the rebel alliance has help from the umpire and my ONJ look-a-like....plus we are in secret talks with the ball boys to get them to tie your shoe laces together.....do I sound worried.... "Borg" ?? PAH...who's he away??? (sticks tounge out at you)
I await your attempt to get out of the 250 balls heading your way.
no rush...
Taking the cat outside on her lead for her 1st ever look at the snow falling ... heheheheheheh sooo funny watching her trying to catch the snow flakes.
***yes I did say cat on her lead, we live near a main road so she is a house cat***
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