Thanks SS, the same girl was a black belt in Karate and she once flattened a bloke in a pub! I thought she was a lovely girl, very nice, couldn't speak of her highly enough....
I was once in a crowded pub with an ex girlfriend when a fight started in the corner. I begin to think this is not worth getting into so I grab her hand and head for the door, But the hand feels podgy and doesn’t seem to want to come with me. I turn round and I’ve got this bloke by the hand and he’s looking daggers at me. She on the other hand is stood behind him waving and grinning like a gud un.
Very funny Frank I'd love to have seen YOUR face.
Was at my ex's family christmas party, 4 kids under10, parents, grand parents, great grand parents there. Great grand mum said why do blow jobs taste so salty!!!!!!!!!! deadly quiet then an uproar!!!!!!!! Does any one know if they are salty.
Climbed into a chest freezer in iceland ready to scare me Mum, lid opened i jumped up with a chicken under each arm bellowing 'can i help you madam?', poor old woman screamed and passed out !!!
Suffice is to say i got a back hander from me Mother and a sharp telling off from the Manager, not bad for a 39 year old
talking to a coloured gentleman ''are you going to Dublin?'' he said ''yes said I''how are getting there?'' said he''big bird in sky'' said I pointing skywards and flapping my arms!!
sitting outside a pub some years back looking at a particularly dedraggled looking woman walking up.look at the state of her said I,voice behind me says thats my wife!
Talking to a guy on the sleeper from London... got round to talking about Wigan. I said only whores or rugby players come from Wigan... he said "my wife comes from there"..... I said " Really?...... What position does she play?"
*disclaimer: the above event may not have actually taken place...*
never did believe you cos i seen your pics !lol ..but i thought in Iceland they just dig a hole in the back yard ? aint been there yet so i would'nt know , no offence meant BJ
I remember causing some embarrassment as a young child at the Food Fair in Earls Court or Olympia. A guy was demonstrating a machine that used heated rollers to cook sausages and didn't seem to have much idea how to use it. I recall he tried not to touch the sausages with his hands getting them out of the pack and ended up dropping them on the floor. Anyway, there were lots of free samples going there and I had earmarked a sausage - when the damn thing was cooked, and it took for ever. So, being of an impatient nature, I suddenly piped up, "You need a frying pan." At the time I couldn't understand why everyone found it so funny. Still I was right. That machine never did catch on.
My Ex telling me the name of the church where to pick up my nipper.
Asked her where it was.
Where we got married was the reply acompanied by a filthy look.
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