Don't worry, the right guy will come along. It may not be today or tomorrow but you can't rush these things.
Kids are undoubtedly a huge responsibility, and it may put some off, but someone who isn't prepared for that commitment, isn't going to be the right guy for you anyway.
Enjoy life as it is, someone will turn up, it's just the timing that's unpredictable
Sorry doh boy you got it wrong there no woman would ever have come between me and my son and I would never expect to be put before or alongside someone elses child not for a long time call it over protection if you like but why put a bond there that could be broken and see your kids hurt again before you are both very sure you are right jp
RustyKnight In: Newton Aycliffe
Posts: 2462
Karma:
I'd agree totally with JP,
I've been divorced over 5 years and my kids haven't been introduced to any 'other' women yet and they won't until i'm certain I have a long term future with somebody. My kids will always come before anyone else until they're old enough to make their own decisions in life
People who introduce their kids to a string of different people always seem surprised when their kids follow exactly in their footsteps doh!
Hey Kerry, welcome back to BM, good to see you on here again :o)
I agree that your kids should never come 2nd to any 'new' partner in your life. Kids are often too easily lulled into a sense of a nice new safe family life by the new partner..... but it isn't always the case.
Just be careful who you let into your kids lives, after all, in my opinion, they are the most precious thing you will have.
Have to agreew ith some comments on here that a date is the first step in gettin to know someone, kids should not be introduced until there is a sign of a lasting relationship, my opinion obviously.
but nowt to stop you going out and making loads of new friends and enjoying urself.
My son is 23 and made the effort to turn up at mine when he knew there was a few Bm folk there, not sure if he was checking them out or lookin for fre beer :)
I feel I've been misunderstood by Doh..... I've never 'hidden' my kids, I've only dated one guy from the site and its states clearly on my profile I have 2 children. All my friends know I have kids, I never shut up about them, they come before anyone else and always will... an easy mistake to make tho Doh as rereading it it does read like that... Soph loves meeting my BM mates and anything that started in the future would be hard to keep from ༼'OO༼s' as RK will agree from initial phone calls last year, when she answered the phone and he mistook her for me....
*Just checks herself* Yes I'm a woman.... RK we was an item..... I met your middle son at your mam's, and he worked me out, and then stayed over with the two youngest at a later date, and took you all out for a MacD.... not bothered but why say different..
Kerry ....hi not spoken with you before but hope we get to meet up at a BM meet sometime.
I know you put a blokes point of view on your thread but very rarely do we stick to those lol
Having kids is a blessing to treasure but i'm sure you already know that. But you have to have a life too. Get out there meet folks don't hide the fact that you have kids but dont smother a guy with them either lol ( always bad move in my experience)
You don't have to choose between who comes first in your life ....to start with your kids and rightly so will always do that.
But when you do meet Mr Right and time moves on you find a happy medium ( and dont be surprised if its later than sooner that kids get jealous and play up) If he is th right one he will be as patient for as long as it needs. And if he is not well he wasn't th one.
I know from experience its not easy being single parent and can get lonely and frustrating at times and not just for mum's but dads too.
Just be patient and enjoy the tme you spend with them ....but DO make time for you as well.
Thank you all for your comments so far and as far as kids getting jealous Im very lucky in the fact that mine are only 22 months and 10 months so they dont even know what jealousy is yet lol. But I do appreciate all comments thank you
i think its cus people are put off by strong independant women..men are if they like to admit it or not cavemen..and they like to be in control..so a lassy with a bike is a threat, they have freedom not stuck on back as pillion...plus i think most bikers like the nomadic life..rallies and freedom in the summer and a woman to keep em warm in the winter ;-)..thats why i been married 3 times..lol
reet enough of me physcology bull s*** :-)
reaper............ some of us women have no choice to be anything different than being independant, I am a single parent and have no choice in the matter, I cant expect to have to ask for help everytime summat needs doing. I either do it myself or pay for some1 else to do it for me.
Why should a woman with a bike be a threat, surely we allowed to ride just as much as a bloke, I dont feel threatened by a bloke who rides so why should it be diffferent for men.
i have great respect for female riders go on get out there
i,m a part time dad (long story but mainly distance)
yes kids are very important to anybody that has them and i agree with the comments about go dating first b4 the kids get involved
but what my point is that the older we get the more commitments we all have to work around wether its kids, work just other things we gota do ! any relationship has gota accept we all have a previous life that affectts our currant one to varying degreees if you meet someone that can,t accept this then there not the one for you !
good luck all those lookin for that special someone but as its been said b4 the best way to find them is stop looking !!!
i have great respect for female riders go on get out there
Yeah Ned .. & I know the respect & admeration you show when following a female *ahem* target !!
But I agree, the right man will not be put off you riding or being independant ... Mr_P nicknamed me the rottweiler in high heels when we met (shortens it to Rottie now) & at the time I could not ride myself & he was always on at me to go for it, do my test, I was a natural when pilly with him ... lmao, he used to forget I was there !
The right man will come along & when you least expect it
I have met a few people and it usually just dies a natural death when I go on leave (in the Marines), a lot of women can't handle the fact that my kids come first, I don't see that much of due to distance (see locaton, they live in NE Scotland).
If it lasts the distance then I will introduce them after talking it over with my ex and the kids, but I won't take a new girlfriend of a few months to see my kids, and wouldn't expect anyone do to it with me...not that it would bother me if someone had any.
It is however difficult with some peoples kids as they run interference etc and well time wise with both having kids its a logistical nightmare....but I believe you meet the right person when you least expect it....usually when you just give up the ghost on it lol
if i met somebody special to me im damned sure i wouldnt run it by my ex first if i could introduce him to my kid, that would be my choice,. i think there are a lot of men out there tho that really dont understand a mums commitment,when i turned down an outing with him and his child, me and my child thing, i was accused of throwing his kindness back in his face!! i wasnt comfortable and wasnt ready. i have since given up looking!!.
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