RustyKnight In: Newton Aycliffe
Posts: 2462
Karma:
braddle/bradawl will work if we don't have a drill? *(one of those pointy-ended tools)
It'll work if the pucks plastic and you heat the bradawl on the gas then just push it through kwak. I made mine at work and i've still got it after 18 months shadow. Maybe you find em cos people would rather leave them than lean over for it
No need to lean over, just remove it right before you are due to get on and ride off, obviously that may not work if you've got the equivalent of the contents of a *Pickfords removals van on the bike, *aka Sumo's transport lol
Ta for the tip Terry
Ladies have you experienced those middle of the night tent moments? Been on the lash and wished you kept to shorts rather than beer? Blokes bladders seem to hold so much more and it's so easy for them, isn't it girls?...Well, my tent nights have been transformed by my own fabby, dinky portaloo... I use a little plastic box from Lakeland Limited. It's about 5x3 ins x 4 high and comes complete with lid clips that securely contain the contents. A quick, easy, comfy solution to girly camping anxiety and also no horrid accidents if it gets accidentally kicked
instead of taking loose t-bags and big glass jar of coffee a little tip we learn early on in forces....
Camping shop buy small soft plastic tubs ones with screw lids and put tea sugar and coffee in there(sepatrate ones of course)...enough to last the week/ weekend and none of the bulk.....
brad_the_impaler In: Saundersfoot, Pe
Posts: 40
Karma:
good tip is make sure you've got a big enough tent so you can park your pride and joy in the dry!! Makes getting to the shower block quicker too, I cane it out the tent, Streethawk style!!!
if you think the bikes may fall over why not just lay it on its side, i us 35mm film containers and small glass screw top jam containers you get in restaurants fo repacking things, i'v also got a small led lantern which i got from Yeomans camping which is just 6cm high & 3 round which cost a couple of quid gives out a brillant light and weighs next to nothing.
To remove tent pegs from hard ground when putting down the tent, use a spare tent peg's hook to hook the peg stuck in the ground and pull the spare peg with both hands lifting out the difficult peg.
It's much easier than trying to wriggle and pull a 'stuck' peg with your fingers.
Hope that makes sense? Think i've confused myself now!
When you get to a camp site pretend you can't put up your tent and us guys will do it for you.......you know you do it girls lol......no burning the bra then is there especially if its raining PMSL
ducks the high heel shoe and takes cover....busted girls....
When you get to a camp site
pretend you can't put up your tent and us guys will do it for
you.......you know you do it girls lol......no burning the bra then is
there especially if its raining
Bugger - Didnt think anyone was onto that tactic!!
Lol me and my friends went camping to Wales over bank holiday weekend and created some camping tips (all of the tips were things that happened) haha
tip 1 - step away from the fire :P tip2- get drunk! tip 3 - always check the carpark before leaving with/without the shopping tip 4- always bring poles with your tent. tip 5 - always check the rocks you may want to wake up have pulses and faces tip5- make shure you always have your shlolong chair. tip 6 - when a missile is aiming for your partner making him fall off his chair, join in for moral support tip 8- take black bags for extra fashon outfits. tip 9 - don't listen to advice from sam on the different ingredients in food tip 10- alwyas put your tent up in a marsh. tip 11 - always have a spare pair of tights and a roll of gaffer tape to hand Tip 7.......there is no tip 7 ! tip 12- never fall asleep drunk in a chair. tip 13- always have a spare Jesus around to deal with the fire. tip 14 - always fall over in two's for maximum amusement factor tip 15- make sure you have real good frends who like to take pitures of you in pain. there were two tip 5's...evens out the balance now :D tip 16 - alopecia :P tip 17 - don't leave your boots near the stream. Alopecia my arse. :-P Please! Tip 18- Always provide the locals with a jolly decent excuse fro calling the campsite manager, and when he turns up, be sure to be wearing your rarest "KnobHead" hat. teeheeheeheehee tip 18 always make sure there are people on hand to explain various cuts, bruises, injuries that may have happened the night before ...camping tips for camping trips...I see a new fan page lurking :P tip 20, cos 19 is missing now- Allow varius degenerates to call you gypo, then watch them pine-as you have fun & they watch Eastenders in a caravan... tip 21 - expect serious spankage when knocking over drinks with missile tip 22- Always tell the sheep to shout "Dad" rather than Mum! hahah! "Daaaaa-aaa-aad!" (I like her jesus tip!) :) Lol tip 23 - trust your instincts when given a map of Birmingham HAHAHAH!!! tip 24- always remember, cyclones and sunshine can occur simultaneously. tip 25- Strongbow does not come in fireproof packaging. neither does bex. lol or my DM's haha 26- do not try to survive on a diet of twigglets
Rally Reality. Make a list of what to pack for the first rally. Put all the clothes that are going to be worn at the rally in the wash basket ready. Realise that your favourite rally t shirt is missing and hunt through the house trying to find it. Unable to find your favourite rally t shirt sulk, but you did find 3 odd socks and a jumper that you do not recognise. Decide not to pack the tent and camping stuff early because you left it clean and tidy last year. Sit back feeling smug that this year you are not going to go the year’s first rally unprepared. Come home from work on Friday and realise you don’t know where the tent is. Panic Whilst hunting for the tent you find 2 odd socks, put them in a drawer with the 3 you found earlier in the week. Friend calls and asks if you are packed and ready, you reply cheerfully ‘Sure’ and tell them you will be with them shortly. Get annoyed because your friend is organised and mutter ‘Bastard’ under your breath Find the tent. Also find a tin of water proofing spray. Feel horrified as you realise you haven’t water proofed your tent. Get your throw overs out of the cupboard. Open the throw overs and find a sock. Place the sock in the drawer with the others. Realise that you have not washed all the clothes you need to take to the rally. Search through the ironing to find something you can take with you. Find your favourite rally t shirt. Start to pack your throw overs. Scream loudly as you realise you are not going to get all the stuff you have in the throw overs. Ruthlessly go through your clothes to decide what to take and what not to take.
If you are male this means only taking a toothbrush. If you are female this means at least 24 pairs of pants, and 7 pairs of emergency pants. Take the tent and the throw overs out to the bike. Carefully load the tent and the throw overs on to the bike. As you go to strap the stuff down you find that the bungee cords you have don’t seem to be long enough. You trap your fingers. One bungee snaps off and almost takes one of your teeth out. You make sure every thing is tied down as solid as you can so nothing will move. As you turn your back your luggage slowly slides off your bike. Realise that you have not packed any cooking stuff. Unload the bike. Tell the neighbour to fuck off when they say hello over the garden wall. Hunt through the house for the gas stove and pans. Find 2 odd socks ‘Phone rings. It’s your parents; after spending 15 minutes listening to them tell you about the amusingly shaped marrow old Mr Hill has grown you do a good impression of a telephone answering machine and pretend to be out. Find your cooking stuff. On the way out to the bike you notice a strange smell coming from your cooking stuff. You open a small plastic container and sniff. Spend the next 15 minutes with head over the toilet being sick. Stagger out to the bike and reload the entire luggage. Tell your self you are not going to go back now, not for anything. Lock the house. Start the bike. Get to the end of the road. Realise that your sleeping bag is on the kitchen table. Go home, unload the bike. Threaten your next door neighbour with violence if they talk to you again. Grab the sleeping bag and reload the bike. Lock the house. Realise you have left the bike keys in the house. Run in to the house, grab your keys. Lock the house, kick over and smash a milk bottle. Stand looking puzzled because you have milk in cartons. Get on bike. Race across town running red lights, using foot paths and taking a short cut through the old folk’s home. Arrive at your friends house and realise you are only an hour late. Find your friend eating their tea and nothing loaded on to their bike. When your friend says they have just got to go for a shower you have to be pulled off them as you try and push a pepper pot up their nose. They go and get ready and you calm down. You leave your friends house, now 2 hours late. After an hour’s ride you stop for petrol and your friend asks you where the rally is, you say that you don’t know and you were following them. Your friend insists that you can’t be because they are following you. Secretly you wish you had been able to finish the job with the pepper pot. Your friend distracts the man behind the desk in the petrol station with impressions of farm animals as you try and find out where you should be heading using a map of the shelf without paying for it. Your ealise you have been riding in the wrong direction for the past 30minutes, so you turn around and head back. After a further 2 hours riding you find the village the rally is being held in. You pull over and find the flyer for the rally and read the directions. On the back is a simple map showing a pub called the White horse on your left and an X opposite. You ride through the village 20 times trying to find the pub. You stop to ask one of the locals, who tells you that you are in the wrong village and that you passed the White horse 10 miles back. You realise that you had missed the pub when your friend, who was supposed to know where they were going was busy waving at sheep. You ride back to the White horse and find the field. As you turn in to the field you notice that every one is already drunk and the best camping spots have been taken. You find a nice secluded spot to pitch your tent. You find out you only seem to have half the tent pegs with you. You pitch your tent put your entire luggage in your tent. As you unroll your sleeping bag you find a sock. Feeling more relaxed you decide to roll a joint. You cradle your head in your hands as you realise you have bought a bag of oregano instead of your finest weed. As you feel dejected about not having any weed to smoke you smile as you realise you must have given the bag of weed to your next door neighbour who wanted a few spices to put in a stew they were having that night.
Feeling hungry and wanting a pint you walk up to the pub. At the pub you buy a burger that simply put contains a meat product, you are not sure what but suspect it to have been meat at some point, maybe.
You spend the night drinking beer and eating various types of food. Feeling very pissed you decide to try the Super Mega Chilli burger.
You drink more beer. You hold a conversation with someone you have never met before in your life. You realise that because of the volume of the music you cannot understand a word they are saying, but nod occasionally and smile. You are not aware they are thinking the same. Someone puts on Bat out of Hell. You are amazed that when you are pissed you can sing really well and you know all the words to bat out of hell. You stagger back to your tent grinning like a Cheshire cat. Your friend passes you a joint the size of a small dog; you ask them where they got the weed from. They tell you they got given it as payment for not doing any more impressions of farm animals in the pub as it was slightly unnerving. The joint kicks in. You spend the next 15 minutes giggling because your friend sad bum. You sit on the grass and decide to make a cup of coffee. You drag the stove out of your tent and try to light it. After 10 minutes of trying to light the stove you feel happy as it burns away under your kettle. You console yourself that your eyebrows will grow back. The kettle boils but you do not notice because you are flat out on your back talking to your friend about if there is life on another planet. The Super Mega chilli burger kicks in. As you sprint across the field you realise the chilli has the same affect as a surgical laxative. You find an empty cubicle and rush in. The lock is missing and there is a strange smell but you don’t care. As you sit on the toilet, one foot against the door to keep it shut you try not to shout out as the chilli has its revenge. You are convinced you are going to have 3rd degree burns of the anus after this one. You realise there is no toilet paper. You search through your pockets for any tissues. One pocket sized packet of Kleenex, a sock and two receipts for petrol later you emerge relieved. If you are female you open the window and look for the air freshener. If you are male you snigger as you imagine the next person to enter your cubicle gets assaulted by the toxic odour. If you are female you wash your hands. If you are male you tell the first person you meet that after that little toilet adventure you should entitled to maternity leave. You stagger back to the tent and collapse in a drunken heap and then crawl in to your sleeping bag. At 6am you wake up feeling rough. The human body is approximately 80% water but you are convinced that 90% of that is in your bladder at the moment. You struggle and squirm as you try to find the zip on the sleeping bag. After 10 minutes you get your self free. You pull your jeans on and almost piss your self as you go to do the zip up. You walk bleary eyed over to the toilets, jeans undone. Before entering you take a deep breath. You clean your teeth but they still feel as if they have individual fur jackets. As you walk back to your tent you almost fall over a drunk who has slept where they fell on the field. They are now covered in the morning dew and are snoring loudly. You drink loads of coffee to make sure you are sober enough to ride home. You pack your stuff away and cannot understand how it all went away in the first place. You throw stuff on the bike and hope it doesn’t fall off on the way home. You look puzzled as you realise that the couple next to you have packed a 5 man tent, deck chairs, double airbed, inflatable sofa, double burner and king sized quilt in to two small hard panniers on their BMW and it is all held on with one flimsy multi coloured strap. Your luggage looks like it is in to bondage with all the straps and bungees that hold it in place. You have one last look around where you have camped in case you have left anything. You find a sock.
Lots of funny (and true) things there! You pack your stuff away and cannot understand how it all went away in the first place.Why is that? Why can pack so much better in the living room than in a field? By this point you've eaten the food and drunk the beer, so there should be less of it!
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