Whats gone is gone.
you still have all us from B.M. to rally around to cheer you up.
or just think of it as better luck next time. think positive and move on.
Well Dikie, you got them talking including some I have never seen put up posts before.
Chin up mate, you just have to take the ruff with the smooth and you know what fun we've had the rallys.
I've got to agree with what johnnytb said there, after years of trying, time and time again, I decided to walk away from a 23 year marriage with 2 bags and sod all else to show for it. Yeah there was a lot of hurt on both sides, but now a year down the line, I got my own place and my own peace of mind. I do what I want, when I want and no-one to answer to. Time is a great healer, my ex has moved on and we get on a lot better now than we did during the latter years, ok so I'm still single but thats my choice, take this time you got and have a bit of "me" time, you wont regret it
Gosh, looking at the 'posts', being dumped sounds really tough. I was lucky in having a partner for a long time before she passed on and I am finding it nearly as bad as you folk. Now have to adjust to being single!
wow, what a posting blimey i could write u forever on this subject but i wont,after 2 divorces and several wrong relationships,, i gave up bothering i just didnt want the pain anymore ,, but,, sometimes you see somebody you think mmm i like him/her so,, forget whats gone and say f*** em !! and move on. hugz from me
Your eyes are moist, you scream and shoutAs though you were a man possessedFrom deep inside comes rushing forthAll the anguish you suppressedIt's never too late to start all over again
Long live the Wolf
Thats me Boody, Getting dumped is not nice but when Its happened to me I have usually had the thought in my own head too, was just beaten too it sometimes.
I think we get stuck in a rut with some people sometimes, although we learn something from all of them, the only sad theing is that it can takes months to realize and appreciate what we did learn.
I guess if one wishes to philosophise about relationships, the best place to start is being good friends. Once you are no longer friends who would do anything for each other, then .... into the sunset.
Ah getting dumped and relationships....probably one of the hardest things to get right in life. I think this is one thing that doesn't get easier with time. It's always hard to have to leave that one you love and have spent so much time with. We all make mistakes too. However as the great saying goes, everything happens for a reason. I guess all you can do and what I do is think of the positives; plenty of memories and good times, okay it didn't work, so now it's time to move on and think positive.......the glass is half full!
HATE TO AGREE ... But mbw is right ... its hard, but its part of life and it can help us grow as people and make us look at ourselves also ... maybe maistakes were made on both parts, maybe both took each other for granted ... (not meaning you, mean in general)
I havent been dumped, but have learned from past relationships, esp the kind of person I am and has made it easier deciding what I want form life and from relationships in the future :)
The glass can be half full, and eventually ... brimming over again somewhere down the line :)
Good luck in the future ... if you are like me and believe in soul mates, then ... she may be a round the corner ... or on the next page, waiting for you :)
it hurts because its a part of the greiving process ie.loss
but even that gose through stages wich is why it seams to get easyer not sure if ive got this in right order but its something like
shock the loss of partner
anger why did they go and leave you
resentment for doing it to you
then self healing realising you can cope being alone again
theres a few more spycological steps to this but i'd damded if i can remember them but im sure our counciling friends out there can fill those gaps for me ?
still flipin Hurts though
Have avoided this post as too sensitive...but its a cracker. Lots of brilliant advice from different angles. Just goes to show how we are all different and yet how many of us have been thro the same thing. Maybe there is no right/wrong answer to this but it sure helps to have it out there and open to discussion. One thing we all agree on....IT HURTS!
Wheely Nealy and Rock Chick are most definitely right, in fact looking through all these posts most people are right in what they say. At the end of the day it will always hurt and you will always feel low...it's such a psychologically challenging time to try and get over someone you love.
It will come and it will pass just like everything in this life.....
You are in a dark place...spirit wise...I too am familiar with such a place. Being 'dumped' is cruel description of an upsetting and personally sometimes traumatic event in your life. But, what I personally find hard to stomach is when you try your best, don't lie or cheat, give your partner all the love and decency that they supposedly deserve, only to discover that they are 'seeing' someone else behind your back, in the case of my last partner, at the gym which they were obsessed with. Or, worse perhaps, their 'ex' husband, supposedly happily married with a new family, is actually still sneaking around to your house and being 'intimate' with his ex, your partner......oh yes...that is a dark place indeed...
Yes, but Boody, that was only half the story with the 'ex' hubby tale, I can't relate all of it, I'd be sued for libel. But, we all move on, or, perhaps more accurately, we try to. Trouble is, it affects your future relationships more than I think most folk would either admit to, or perhaps realise? I am one of the lucky ones I guess, I emerged from a 'dark place' and, think I'm all the stronger for it, and, perhaps surprisingly, will make future partnerships stronger through experience. Others are not so lucky, we read of them daily ending it under trains, or off high bridges. In dealing with others, particularly those whom we care for, we should always try to think of their spirits, the Irish poet and writer, WB Yeats summed it up in a beautiful poem the last line of which I qoute : "I have spread my dreams under your feet, tread softly, because you tread on my dreams".....
Re: Whealynealy's post a few back. I think one of the stages of grief you may be looking for is beating yourself up... was it my fault? was it something I did? Could I have done something to avoid this?
It's horrible being in the beating yourself up stage but it has to be gone through in order to learn from it, cos forgiving yourself is part of acceptance and letting go of it all
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