Once there were three construction workers. When it was lunchtime one day, they all sat down together.The first one opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, turkey! I hate turkey!" So he shot himself with a rivet gun.The second one opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, ham! I hate ham!" So he jumped off the building.The third one opened his box and said, "Eeew, mac and cheese! I hate mac and cheese!" So he ran himself over with a bulldozer.At the funeral, their three wives were talking about their lost husbands. The first two were very sad, but the third was rather puzzled.the first wife said, "I thought he liked turkey!"The second one said, "I thought he liked ham!"But the third one was still puzzled. She said, "I thought he packed his own lunch."
A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp. The Genie will only grant him one wish. The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. *POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman!
Forgot! I like this one............
A man is trying to impress a woman by making her think he's really intelligent.
Man: I like waking early in the morning.
Woman: Are you sure you haven't missed an "n" out of that sentence?
oh grief im dying my hair lol
The 2nd Affair:A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!Have you been fooling around behind my back?"The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"
The 3rd Affair:A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen."I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity. So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home."I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase."My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"
The 4th Affair:A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said "stand in the corner."She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder."Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue.""What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room."Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for for us, too."No more was said, not even when they went to bed.Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer, "Here," he said to the statue, "have this, I stood like that for two days at the Smith's house and nobody offered me a damned thing.
The 6th Affair:Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess.""There's no need to," his wife replied."No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!""I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."(WAS SHE BLOND? WE JUST DONT KNOW)
lol thomsondiane i have slome corkers re en and women but putting them into dobe so i can copy as they in a slide show
says post these to all the women you know and the men who can handle them lol
this seems like good spot
The devil made me do it pmsl
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