Well those that know me have always said I don't suffer fools gladly and say it how I see it and I expect the same back from my friends. Trust is a fragile thing and if you catch someone out in one lie how can you trust anything they have said or their motivation for the things they do.
I know some people think it's more important to try and spare peoples feelings and will bend the truth to suit the situation but I don't subscribe to that school of thought. You may end up with fewer friends but the ones you end up with are worth a 100 of the sort that can't be trusted.
Sorry boody but I belive if you don't want to hear a negative response then you shouldn't ask people the question, that goes or hair cuts or more important things. There's far to much bending the truth around these days and if it's Ok to lie to spare someones feeling where do you draw the line and who's to say the line you draw is the same line that another person will draw.
If Ian told me a 'white lie' ... yes darling you look lovely in that & then I saw my mom, who is more direct than me & would say 'what made you pick that you look awful/fat/washed out whatever' it would hurt more that he did not tell the truth & I went out in something that was not right instead of being truthful
Does my a**e look big in this or Is my B*m as big as her's overthere,
Come on ladies what should the right answer be then. Personally when my wife asks me these she gets the truth "Yes to both" and then the fight starts <!--6e052d28b1806771e2d163a041d4a5d4-->
WB - alot of the time it's a confidence thing so you are never going to be right.... whatever you say.
I would rather be told if it looks poop but tbh if i really wanted to wear it then it wouldnt really matter what other people thought i looked like in it, cos if it makes me feel good then i'm wearing it...end of !!
Weirdoraptor In: Brough, E. Yorks
Posts: 2087
Karma:
BJ hit the nail on the head (tact, diplomacy and consideration). A good percentage of peeps on here have probably been victim to life changing lies, so we know how much pain they can cause, but occasionally being 'economical with the facts' to save someone's feelings isn't a bad thing.
It also depends on who you're talking to, some people welcome brutal honesty, others are destroyed by it.
If her bum is as big as Belgium, save her feelings and just say Luxembourg... Simple.
Honesty, definately. I would never deliberately hurt someone by an answer I knew they wouldn't like, it's not what you say but how you say it so I would tactfully be honest, depending on the person. My best friends know they'll get a blunt honest answer to anything but that's what they expect and vice versa.
I would never ask anyone if my a--e looked big in something, I don't care, I wear what feels comfortable for me, but anything else, I would want a direct, honest answer, why ask otherwise?
Anne
I must say ... sometimes someone being 'honest' is a perception rather than a truth ... Just cos its said ... doesnt make it true ... IMO
Also have to agree with Jackie ... Tact n Diplomacy are a must with me. Being 'honest' should NEVER be a license to inflict emotional or mental hurt on another person. Thats not honesty IMO thats Malice
I'm with shorty, if someone asks my opinion then they'll get the truth, I don't have to say it in a horrible way however. In another community people would put up Poser work for feedback and I earned the title of "Critic". I always aimed for it to be positive and constructive however.
up honesty is best but with women you can't win!!!!
Perhaps a joke will help to illustrate. A man and woman are leaving a movie. The woman asks, “Do you think Sigourney Weaver is pretty?” The guy knows this is potential trouble, but he also knows he has to answer. “Well, yeah, she's ok I guess,” he says, trying not to sound at all enthusiastic. Nothing else is said and the guy feels relieved. Two weeks later they are in a restaurant having dinner. “How’s the food?” she asks. “A little dry,” he says. “Well, then,” she says, her tone snide and suddenly hostile, “Maybe you should have had Sigourney Weaver make it for you!”
It’s a funny joke, and might be best left to the realm of humor until you consider that this is how many men live their lives; trying their best to not say the wrong thing, even if they have to lie, and constantly being set up with a series of questions for which there is no right answer. Come on guys you've all been there and girls you've all put someone there at least once?????????????
How many of us have been bought a gift for whatever occasion by a loved one, (especially Grannies and frickin knitted jumpers) who gave it genuinely believing it was something you would love and hated it???? Are these things in the back of the wardrobe or drawer or did you say ' i dont like it' ???
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