Employee: Sir, you called me? Boss: Yeah, go to the rest room and masturbate. Employee (After few mins): Done sir! Boss: Do it again. Employee: Done again, sir!
Boss: Do it once more. Employee: Now I don't have stamina for it, sir! Boss: Very good, here's are my car keys, drop my daughter at home.
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?'Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'God said, 'Ah, yes.''Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention!1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension2. It chatters constantly at high speeds3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! 'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaims "I want to join your biker club." The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?" The little old lady says "Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the driveway. The biker asks her "Do you smoke?" The little old lady says "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?" The little old lady says "No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."
A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower. "Help! Help!" The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?" The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind... the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!" The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know you're upside down?" "Because the shite is running down my back!"
Lolol Flumpy..
I am naive. The lads in the pub were saying how good a blow job is. I didnt know what a blow job was so i just agreed so as not to look daft.
Later on at home i asked the girl i was seeing if she knew..
"Do you know what a blowjob is ?"
She got up and walked out of the room ,which was upsetting as she was sucking my dick at the time....
Dropped my new girlfriend off after our first date last night ,she told me i would have to wait six months for a blow job, i told her i completely respect her decision and i would ring her nearer the time to arrange our second date...
Be very careful what you buy on Ebay--- a mate of mine paid £75 for a penis enlarger-- they sent him a magnifying glass and the instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight "..
An old man gets on a bus but there's no seats, so he leans on his walking stick. The bus brakes and he slips . A young boy says "Mister, if you had a rubber on the end of your stick that wouldn't have happened . The old man replies " If your daddy had taken the same advice i would have a fn seat !!!"...
Good one Jen
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
![over 18' only (27) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![over 18' only (27) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
