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Jokes, Games & Silly Things

over 18' only

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over 18' only

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hahahha

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Boodyblues @ 31/05/2011 19:06  

FOR SALE- Complete set of encyclopaedias. 45 volums in excellent condition. £1000 ono, reason for sale no longer required as just got married .....Wife knows fking everything.

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crasy lady @ 02/06/2011 21:28  

I put a large load in the washer last night, As usual she spat it out.

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crasy lady @ 02/06/2011 21:31  

I got mugged last night.Four big bastards beat the s!$% out of me. Against all odds I managed to KNOCK ONE OUT....Probably not the best time for a w!$% but it could have been my last !!.

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Deleted Member @ 03/06/2011 18:52  


An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.

The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'

The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.'

The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are freezing cold.'

The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs and the warmth of my body will warm them up..

He did and warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.

He said, 'My nose is cold .'

The girl replied 'Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up.'

He did and warmed his nose.

The day after the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said,

'My penis is frozen solid.'

The next day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she asks,

'Have you ever heard of a penis?'

Concerned the mother said, 'Why yes..... why do you ask?'

The daughter replies,

'They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they!!!

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Deleted Member @ 05/06/2011 16:51  

Marriage is a great institution, but they only put mad people in institutions.

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GreyGra @ 08/06/2011 21:03  


my gran caught me having a w!$% the other day ,she was so shocked she had a f!$%ing stroke, surprisingly soft hands for a pensioner!!

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Deleted Member @ 11/06/2011 22:04  

bold or hairy ??????

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Jack Jones @ 11/06/2011 22:16  

Edinburgh and Glasgow couple in a bar Saturday afternoon , both men realise their wives army wearing knickers, Edinburgh guy gives his wife a tenner and says 'here nip into M&S and get yourself a pair of knickers and don't give me a showing up!' Glasgow guy gives his missus a comb and says 'Christ hen tidy yersel up'

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WoodyS1000rr @ 14/06/2011 21:45  

Why dont cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny

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a_touch_of_heat @ 19/06/2011 19:13  

How do you kill a circus???


Go for the Juggler!!!

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Deleted Member @ 19/06/2011 19:16  

INFORMATIVE!!


1. It takes your food 7 seconds to get to your stomach


2. The human hair can support 3kg (6.6lb)


3. The average man's penis is 2 times the length of his thumb


4. The human thigh bones are stronger than concrete


5. There are about 1 trillion bacteria on each of your feet


6. After cremation your ashes will be the same weight as your birth


7. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still


8. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's


9. A woman will be finished reading this by now


10. Men are still busy measuring their thumbs

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gixergal @ 19/06/2011 20:12  

God I've got big thumbs!!!

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Deleted Member @ 19/06/2011 23:21  

It must be a man thing...

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gixergal @ 19/06/2011 23:23  

well in my experience, with the women I've known, thankfully it's not a woman thing. Well not always!!

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Deleted Member @ 19/06/2011 23:26  

My new girlfriend said to me "you haven't got a very big organ have you?' I said well its not used to playing in a fu**ing cathedral

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a_touch_of_heat @ 20/06/2011 19:19  


The wife said she had some of my favourite ice cream, how hard is it I said. As hard as you D**k when you see me naked, she replied.
Go on then pour me some.

She told me to get a penis enlarger. I did she's 20 and called Sophie.


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Deleted Member @ 20/06/2011 20:21  


Just had my hair cut......The barber held up the mirror for me to see... and asked "Would you like something on it".....?

I replied....

"Yes.... a pair of knickers.... you've made me look a right c!$%"

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Deleted Member @ 22/06/2011 19:54  

WHO'S YOUR DADDY? The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way... Who's your baby's Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night. 2... I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phonenumber? Thanks... 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again. 6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country..Please advise. 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me. 8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time..... well, I don't have clue.. 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom . 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized. 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart. WHEN THE WEALTH IS REDISTRIBUTED THESE PEOPLE WILL BE THE MAJOR RECIPIENTS. And....they VOTE........


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Deleted Member @ 22/06/2011 20:25  


Why do deaf girls masturbate with one hand?????





So they can moan with the other....

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Deleted Member @ 30/06/2011 20:15  

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