Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes offhisclothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks byhimand the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices hiserection,comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?"Bobreplies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let meexplain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies youcalled for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, laysdownon a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his waywithher.Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down,andfarts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with afirm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him. The Huge Man says:"Sir,did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man:"You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies youcalled for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends himoverthe bench and has his way with him.Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling nakedreceptionist: "May I help you?" Bob says: "Here is your card and keyback.You can keep the $500 joining fee." Receptionist: "But Sir, you've onlybeenhere a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of ourfacilities....."Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get ahard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks."
There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves. The second vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves. The third vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of water." The bartender says, "Why do you want a shot of water?" The vampire pulls out a dirty tampon and says, "Tea time."
Three Taliban supporters have been found dead in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.Apparently they were suicide bummers.The BBC are making a new sitcom to star Michael Barrymore.Its going to be called..........."Only Pools and Corpses".Michael Barrymore has been found dead in his Essex mansion with chocolate round his bum.The word on the street is George Michael was careless with a Wispa.
a women walks into a bar and orders a bottle of champagne lifts her skirt drops her thong and pours it ove her pussy the barman asks her why she did that she replies i just won the lottery and that the only c*nt im sharing it with
A bloke comes home from work on Friday, walks in his house and says "It's the weekend, tomorrow, me, you and the dog, we're all going fishing!" The wife says "Every Friday for the last 10 years you've walked in and said we're going f**king fishing, well I'm f**king fed up with fishing, I'm not f**king going!!" "Fair enough" says the husband, "A quick one up the Gary or a blow job and you don't have to go" "I'll give you a blow job then" says the wife. She bends down and starts to suck his cock, "eeerrrggghhh your cock tastes like shite" "Aye, the dog didn't want to come either"
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