I was mainly a reactive person when I joined.
I joined this site after my ex dumped me which ended access to my new found love of pillion riding so I took it upon myself to find new seats to sit on. That was all I was interested in to begin with, experienced motorcyclists with big sports tourer style bikes that I could trust to pick up where the ex had left off with regards to gaining confidence as a pillion. I wasn't looking for romance etc as I was still very much cut up about my relationship ending.
I chatted to a few people when I first joined but I've actually only sat on three seats since joining, including the Frog. I always replied to PMs sent, even if to say thanks but no thanks. I've sent a total of 7 winks/nods and most of those were to people I already knew.
Now days I'm here for the social side of things rather than on a mission.
RustyKnight In: Newton Aycliffe
Posts: 2462
Karma:
cissy I joined this site thinking I needed to find a lass who'd light my fire and we'd grow old together so apologies to those ladies i PM'd in the first fortnight. I was like a kid in a sweetshop!
After joining in in the forums, firstly chatting then making the effort to get out to meet people I realised that making new friends, helping other people when you can and starting a new social life is proving to be far more interesting than 'starting over' with someone new. Hopefully my future includes at least some of the people on here and if I meet someone special from here they'll be part of the same circles. In the meantime where do you find friends with 'benefits'
I dont send nods or PM people.Ther reason is that i dont feel comfortable doing it.I like to read the posts and i would also like to attend one of the meets but being up here in the north there is not a lot going on.I would also struggle to talk to people unless they started the coversation,then i would be fine.Been going to put a picture on my profile but still havn`t done it ???? I would also return any mails so its not that i dont want to participate i just must be reactive ! We are all different but i probably wish i was more forward and then when i get to know people i wish i was more reserved.
I joined the site a few months after my Ex left me. I was always part of the bike scene sinse i was 16 but when he left taking both bikes and still goingaround with our frineds with his adultress I couldnt bring myself to mix with our regular friends and her! LOl
I knew that I had to have someone in my life I am not a 'single' person I hated being single but was not ready to settle down with anyone.
This site was just perfect. It helped me get my life back on track. Loads of good biker friend all of my own making nothing to do with my past.
I have been seeing Catarapter for nearly 12 months now and although we both want different things in life we are good for each other right now. In the proces Ihave made some great girl friends and male friends. I have been encouraged to learn to ride a bike for myself and have been to far more biking events I have ever been to.
I am glad there are nods instead of winks. I can nod to a girl without it looking like i am winking at her LOl.
This is my most visited site of all sites!
Jock I felt like you initially but I acn assure you people are pleased to recieve nids...I dont get them anymore I think its cos i ahve attached on my profile but ... I remember the excitement of getting one though and it does get easier once you have sent your first few nods or PM's. give it a try dont be shy!
Lin x
RK... Interesting that some of us think/thought that we 'need' someone with whom to start over. I know in the past when someone has left, I have almost immediately begun the search for the next one...fear of being 'single' and all that. The last one left over 6 months ago, and I was not capable of even thinking of another man until now maybe. Like you, I have got to know people who are now firm friends, and I agree that they are way more important than a significant other right now.
It's also great to read that a lot of people have been encouraged by people off this site to learnt to ride themselves, and had help and support when choosing bikes etc.
Moon... Yes, I am always pleased to receive a nod, and am starting to understand them a bit more.. and I will take your advice of sending a few more myself!
lol duns....practise was ok... stuck in a very small room with four other people... great! (One an ex, one 24 years old, one a woman and one a new bass player!).... I need to get out more! lol
Ian... the 'refresh' King lol.... You collecting titles mate!
Been pondering on this subject today whilst continuing my obsessive cleaning (today I cleaned walls, cupboards, tiles...you name it I cleaned it in my kitchen)...four hours of scrubbing...
I do need to get out more. I mean, I am out and busy with studies/band/mumly duties etc... but a lot of what I do is for other people's benefit, and I actually need some friends to do 'me' stuff with. A 'partner', 'boyfriend', 'significant other' or whatever you call it at our age would be wonderful right now (there, I admitted it)
So, I can get past the 'nods' and PMs... and will start being more proactive... but how do you get over such a total heart break/mind games relationship and ever trust again? I know there are members here who have been through similar/worse than me, and gone on to find true happiness again... so maybe some of those members could advise me or tell me how they did it?
RustyKnight In: Newton Aycliffe
Posts: 2462
Karma:
*The last one left over 6 months ago*
cissy i've lived alone for 6 years I grew to love it and i've enjoyed every minute of it but now i'm noticing those 'times' when sharing the experience is far better. (nothing rude before anyone puts the horse before the band wagon ) I'm talking about the washing and ironing lol
Maybe it's time to get pro-active, we'll exchange notes in 14 days to see how we're getting on eh?
Cissy that was very honest of you to come out and discuss your feelings....There are no easy answers and wot answers there are have to come from YOU! You know what the problem is and only you can solve it? Leave the past just where it is and shake of wot has been......I believe that all our destiny's are decided before we are even born so when bad things happen,shrug it off and wait for the next chapter to begin......i know it gets lonely at times but everyone on here is your friend and given the fact that there are thousands of members I don't think that it will be long before you meet someone you are a funny friendly lass and you put yourself about the site, people on here are very shy and a bit reserved so be patient Mr right wont be far ......I've been on here a couple of months and met someone already.....Okay she lives over 400 miles away but the course of true love never runs smooth
![Active or Reactive? A Q. for the singles on here (4) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![Active or Reactive? A Q. for the singles on here (4) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
