moving swiftly on.......
duck walks into a bar and asks "got any bread?"
barman says no.
duck says "got any bread?"
barman says no.
duck says "got any bread?"
barman says "no,we havent got any f------! bread!!!!!"
Duck says "got any bread?"
barman says"no,are you deaf?we havent got any f---ing bread,ask me again and i'ii nail your beak to the bar, you irritating ba--ard of a bird"
duck says "got any nails?"
barman says no
duck says "got any bread?"
this could get me in3 a lot of trouble but sod it here go's, why is a woman like a kfc? 'cause when your finnished with the breasts & thighs all you've got left is a greasey box to put your bone in
Hi,Check this out as I did.......you'll be amazed what data they have onyou!!!Did you know that every time your car goes past a speed camera, even 1mphover the set limit it is registered and put on a database?You get a ticket only if you are way over the limit or, (this is the bitthat we didn't know) if you receive over 20 near misses, you will beclassed as a serial offender and get a ticket the next time you go justover the limit.This is why you hear of people being done for 34mph in a 30 limit areawhilst others doing 39 do not.Following the Government 's freedom of information act you can now getaccess to speed camera offences registered in the last 12 months.You can check what has been registered against your vehicle at thefollowing address http://www.e-database.co.ukYou will be asked for a password but just click on the "need a login" linkand you will be given one for future use.If there is any data on your vehicle you can click on the camera window tosee a copy of the photograph.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
George in Hell,
george bush dies and goes straight to hell,the devil says" im not sure wot to do, you have to stay here for sure,but ive no room, i have 3 folks here not as bad as you,you have to take one of their place, ill let you pick which oneleaves."
george realising he is going nowhere,thanks the devil for letting him choose who he will replace.
they stand in front of 3 doors and the devil opens the 1st,inside is richard nixon diving in and climbing out of a swimming pool, diving in, climbing out,over and over again,that was his fate,"im no swimmer & i dont think i could do that all day long.
the devil opens the next door,nad there is dick cheny,swinging a sledge hammerand smashing rocks,every time they smashed,they were replaced by new rocks,"ive got a prob with my shoulder,i couldnt do that all day long says george.
the last door was opened and there was bill clinton,naked having done to him by moniker lewinski what monika does best!!!!!
george looks in disbelief at wots going on for a while and says with the biggest grin," yeah, i think i could handle that all day long"the devil smiled and said "ok, monica, you free to go!"
luvs ya too 2w
i make my own stats on biker match:
2w, oggy,RC, BP, CHRISSYJINX,STORM,RUBECULA,ALL MY TOP TEN, (IKNOW,3 VACANCIES JUST WAITING TO BE FILLED)CANT THINK AT MO,
I admire people who can tell a good joke cos once I get the giggles I can never bloody remember the damn joke. I have a tendancy to lose the plot. You'd never guess would ya?