Havfun's comment in the chat room, when his typing went all gobbledygook
'got assistance from the parrot'
and...
Dabe's comment in the 'What do you do for a living?' thread
i'm a philatelist am sure some lady can think of a use for me ;)
lmao
Doorbell rang at lunchtime today and the dog started doing its crusty the clown with the hump impersonation.
So exchange pleasantries with the gardener who has called for his money and haven't realised its gone quiet in the living room.
Said goodbye to financially enhanced gardener and opened living room door just as the dog was tiptoeing past with my tuna mayo sandwich in its gob.
Dog stopped mid stride statue like with only its eyes moved to look up at me.
Now I'm not saying I can read a dogs mind but something along the lines of the bikers mantra would have been appropriate "Oh sh*t Oh sh*t this is gonna hurt" while still remaining motionless.
After making enquiries about the dogs intentions at the same time trying to retrieve my sandwich from its still motionless jaws it finally released my lunch and I am sure it bl**dy smiled at me.
So bin for me buttie and bed for the dog.... its hard work trying to be p*ssed off when your laughing.
The pudding Andy did for my kids today! Lemon cheesecake with vanilla ice cream, sprinkles and choc sauce - only as it turned out the sauce wasn't choc, it was HP!!
Just been on yahoo reading about the snow - the following were in the comments column, and made me giggle!
Bad Weather Journey Advice: remember to take extra clothing including
thermal hat and gloves,a scarf, plus food supplies, water ,flask, torch,
blanket or sleeping bag, warning triangle, shovel .... oh and your car
... I felt a right tit on the train with all this lot! Freezing cold here, wife texts her
husband, windows frozen, husband texts back pour warm water over it, wife
texts her husband back - computer completely fkd now!!
where do I start? Basically it was one of
those things that every time we checked something on my car yesterday - something else went
kaput -a bit like my central heating at Christmas really!
So then this morning the friend Arthur (I'll call him that to save his blushes) decided
(over the phone) that it was the ignition coil, and that if we (WE
!!) drove to Oldham we could buy one for xyz rather than order one off
ebay and thus not get it till the end of the week. Soooo, set off
to Oldham at half past eight this morning in his car, and really I could
have done with nipping into the ladies on the way, but as he was so
keen to get there I thought fine, will call on the way back. (Remember
this!) WELL, never put off till tomorrow what ya can do today!
First of all Oldham is a lousy one way system and is full of roads closed due to roadworks at the mo - so we got lost! Eventually
he spotted 2 traffic wardens and pulled over into some parking bays to
ask for directions..... as he'd parked over 2 bays (it was teeming it
down , so couldn't see lines) one of them threatened to give him a
parking ticket! after quite an argument he drives off - luckily minus
parking ticket, and with a face like thunder. We were now 3/4 hr behind
his schedule! Found the shop, bought parts, got back onto M62 -
only to run into traffic jam caused first by roadworks and second by a
broken down vehicle in the said roadworks. After crawling along in this
for an hour Arthur morphed into Victor Meldrew, ranting and biting the
steering wheel, and I was morphing into a 6 year old, who'd now
demanded we call into the services for a loo stop, and was hence whining
through gritted teeth 'are we there yet?' every 2-3 mins. Add to all
this the fact that the fan to cool Arthurs car engine was broken, so to
draw the heat away from it we had to have the heat on full in the car,
causing me to hang my head out of the window to avoid asphyxiation! After eventually, and pitifully gratefully, receiving my toilet training stop we were now 2 hours behind schedule. Finally
got home around 3pm as we'd had to go to Halfords cos he'd left his
tools at home, but was determined to finish the job, hence the need to
buy new ones! He spent an hour removing, examining, refitting, a
variety of parts - including the prized ignition coil, and declared
-'fire it up'!!
With the result that big clouds of fumes pop,
pop, popped outa the exhaust, and I'm sure - though not certain - a
loud raspberry was blown in his direction as the car continued to shake
rattle and roll!
He then declared he was off home for his tea, and maybe I should call the garage!
So
that's where I'm up to. I called the garage immediately and my
beloved car is now in the garage's ICU to be diagnosed tomorrow!
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