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Badgers demand human cull to prevent spread of Ebola
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Stan
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Revenge? Moi?
Increasingly concerned at the impending threat of the Ebola virus,
badger community leaders have called for the introduction of a human
culling programme.
“We’re proposing an initial pilot programme,” Furry Rita told us
yesterday, “by having marksmen to shoot the pilots of the planes that
seem to be bringing in the virus into the country. The pilots may not
have Ebola themselves, but they are obviously carriers so need to be
eliminated for the good of everyone else.”
“Of course we’ve no idea how much humans spread Ebola,” continued Rita, the co-leader of the Harold Woods badger colony, “but vaccinations
are too much hassle, so it’s much easier to shoot some as an experiment
and then we can see what effect this has on the rest of the
population.”
Fellow badger leader Manky Kevin warned that further slaughter may be
necessary, but on the plus side he stressed that it would be scientific
and humane.
“Moving on, we’re proposing a broader cull but can assure people that
it will be conducted scientifically,” he said, stereotypically wisely.
“So we suggest that the cull is restricted to a geographical region
around Heathrow, let’s say Middlesex to start with. Once we’ve wiped out
a couple of million, we can take stock.”
“The cull will have no real significant impact on human population
numbers as there are millions of them out there. In the long run I’m
sure they’ll thank us.”
I think the badgers have the solution, although the area of the cull is perhaps too far south. The Heathrow culling could be run in conjunction with one in the Leeds/Bradford airport area, just to see how much the virus can be contained.
Some peoples assumption you are a puppet to be made to dance at someone else's whim! HA, that'll be the day! I dance to my own tune and march to the beat of my own drum!
What made me laugh out loud? Really, and literally, an “LOL” moment?
Someone taking the time to phone me and point out that I had been alluded to as [Little] Jimmy Osmond via BM. Only an individual with a considerable amount of intellect - and some geographical awareness - could think that one up spontaneously and know that I’d latch on to it immediately.
There are some moments in life that are special. I’ll always remember and treasure that one.
.
A bloke 'jogging' with his black labrador pup through one of the estates near my home. The term is used very loosely as it was more like being dragged randomly, arms n legs akimbo, by the dog. I was laughing so hard i was crying. Fabulous!
Being informed by one of my colleagues that
"Mystic Bali" was in reception .....
Wandering out into reception to speak to the concierge and finding out that he had actually said "Mr Iqbal is here"....
OMG ... tears rolling down face - hilarious
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