It is an exclusion....and a childish one at that. I've been here 3 years now and know who gets excluded and who doesnt. Saying hi doesnt make you inclusive. The yetis/hobbits thing just serves to make newcomers even less inclined to join in. I'm an old timer and i dont want to join in, so what hope have newbies?? They cant even join in the forums cos its plastered all over there too. You might think yr being friendly but yr excluding everyone that wasnt there...............in big fook off letters
Noone else joins the conv because they feel they are not welcome......and i know what they mean. Its all very well people knowing each other, but ignoring everyone else???? Big no no.
Don't know what you mean DC... who Ignores who ??
Newbies get lots of welcoming comments. The crowd in the midlands are starting to have regular meets and the group of "regulars" is growing almost by the week and are actively encouraging others to join in too, on and off the forum. It is on the forum if you bother to read it that if anyone would like to travel to a Brum night out then they are more than welcome and accomodation will be provided... and that includes you too.
We are seeing the midland group travelling to meet ups and during this a lot of bonding is taking place and many many new friendships formed. I for one am seeing people coming out of their shells and starting to get their confidence back in the process. The people from up north are doing the same too. In the midlands we are aware that the folks down south find it hard to travel up north so we are looking at some ride outs down there to meet up with them. Is this the childishness and the leaving out of people that you speak of ?
You may decide that you do not like the banter etc but people are joining because of it too. A lot of people who join this site have or are going through possibly the most torid time of their life and light hearted fun is just the tonic they need.
There are lots of threads that are are of a more serious nature and are treated as such and serious conversation does take place. Any site of this nature has to cater for all tastes.. Personally I think this site does a pretty good job of that... It's a pitty you dont seem to agree..
Please please dont spoil for the many many people who are getting a lot from it.
P.S the invite for over night accomodation for one of the brum night outs still stands for you and anyone else who want to take advantage of it..
I appreciate the difference of opinion, but ask Matt how many newbies are joining in. I think you'll be very surprised. It seems to be a few of the old timers that organise anything....and a few of the old timers that turn up. If i didnt know this place better, i wouldnt turn up to anything.....in the last 12 months this place has gone to the dogs.....everyone is out for what they can get, not to make friends, despite what they say. I've made some lasting good friends through this site, how many of the current members can say that??? And i mean that literally, not via the forums. Theres a lot of crap posted on here. most of which is just that....crap, but there are genuine people who are after friends,,,, possibly partners but they cant get their message across for the bollocks that is posted.
Noone else is brave enough to say it, but i will. This is an ADULT forum..for ADULTS. If you wanna play on the swings then bebo is yr site. They will accomodate you. This is a site for adults to meet like minded adults
If i'm speaking out of turn i've no doubt i'll be banned, but noone else seems able to say it. I dont care, its time someone stood up and said it. We are all grown ups......ffs say what you feel!
well said paul !!!!!!!!!!!
peeps are also welcome to stay at mine anytime they this way or even just passing through and need a bed for the night, which some have already done so already.
I too have made many great freinds through this site, both through the forums and from actually meeting folks and like Paul said, they have been there for me through some of the worst times of my life, many have piked me out the gutter on more than one occasion and saved my sanity, some are still active on the site some are not(those that know me will know what I have been through) and I have these peeps to thank for me being who I am today.
I for one am over the moon that there are now getting to be peeps local to me on here that I know and there are those who I have yet to meet but am in contact with via pm's or texts.
We are very lucky in the Midlands that we have a fantastic group of people who want to meet on a regular basis, hence the Brum Nites out, i personally have extended an open invitation for bed and breakfast to anyone who wants to come along, infact there are 4 folk from outside the Midlands staying at mine in May. We had 12 bikes travel upto Whitchurch on sunday including several new members who we pm'd asking if they wanted to join us, and i would hope that they would happily say that they are glad we did. And several of them are now coming out with us on Friday.
Appreciate its an over 18s site but doesnt mean to say that we cant unleash the child in us to relieve from the stress and strains of every day life, some folk having really rough times need it and welcome it.
I for one can hand on heart say i have made some great friendships through BM and hope to make many more.
You cant please all of the people all of the time.
And just for the record it wasnt even an Midlander who started the term Middle Earthers, but its a catch phrase thats caught on and whether you believe it or not has actually made folk who wouldnt normally join in do so. Appreciate the banter and humour is not everybodies cup of tea but if its not dont read it.
Pretty sure we will not agree but hey ho thats life.
In response to Paul...I dont feel the need to defend myself, you include me because you feel you have to, you have established yr own little clique and thats fine. I've been on this site for at least 12 months before you arrived and I have no problem with that but what i object to is yr inclusion criteria. I have no desire to be part of that, but new members, hoping to meet members in their local area feel excluded. New members want to try and ingratiate themselves with local members, but i've seen it for myself...you ignorant gets. You completely blank people that arent forwards in introducing themselves. These people have a valid contriibution to make....but because they arent a hobbit/cretin/muppet or whatever, they are irrelevant. I find that wholly unsatisfactory.If you want dolly bird, then you can pay for that privelege
I agree drobs... the friendships that are being formed are fantastic.. there was about a dozen bikes from the midlands went up to mid west truck stop on sunday ( shame you had other arrangements )... the vast majority newbies... sugested by a newbie too I'll add.. I personally made new friends too, some of which will be going to the future brum nights out.
This site turned me round for one. And that happened by me making the effort to join in.... I'll say that again... I made the effort to join in. I didn't sit around feeling sorry for myself.. I have made the most of every opportunity to go to events and meet people and I am glad I did..
There is far too much seriousness in my life with work, running a house etc
so I'm up for some fun, laughter, games and so glad there are many people on here that want the same... life is too short to worry about minor things.....
but what i object to is yr
inclusion criteria. I have no desire to be part of that, but new
members, hoping to meet members in their local area feel excluded. New
members want to try and ingratiate themselves with local members, but
i've seen it for myself...you ignorant gets. You completely blank
people that arent forwards in introducing themselves.
I take exception to that as i for one pm'd 20 odd people last week, who i have never met, asking them if they would like to join us in the ride out on sunday and do this everytime we have an event.
I have even pm'd all the folks who i have never spoken to or met who are going to Butlinsletting them know that we are meeting on Friday night and if they want to join us feel free, have even offered my mobile number to them so they can find us anytime.
Make sure you know your facts before making comment.
DC one thing that we are not is ignorant, how can we be that when we personally pm local peeps and ask them to join us in the events that we are attending. I look and see what local peeps are going to the events im attending and pm the to say hi and to say glad they are joining us............if that makes me ignorant then i am confused
Drobs and BJ You Both beat me to it....
DC You dont see the number of new people I and others PM to invite them to night outs...
You have just brought this discussion down to a low level by insulting us.
As I see it, the only person who excluding you is yourself...
As such, I dont mind debate, I dont mind discusion, but I will not get drawn in to a slanging match. You talk of putting people off joining..
well done DC you've just scored an own goal.
BTW the only inclusion criteria For someone to come round my place is that they are breathing... and that still includes you too...
Final answer on the subject
Well I am only going to post 1 post on this thread & would not be doing that if I had not woken up to find 17 messages of one form or another through here, email, facebook & phone (thank god it was on silent last night) regarding what's been said.
DC, I can understand your frustration and mood from earlier post in the night, however I do have to agree with what other have said, many new members DO join in, many will PM people, many don't 'do' forums, like the others Ian & I have met up with members old & new for ride out, some setting off from ours, CW from Manchester for one I think would agree that we have not excluded him or insisted that he fits into any 'criteria' to come to ours as a starting point for a ride out, and he does not refer to himself a hobbit/yeti/muppet/whatever (well not publicly) We even have personal friends who are not members join us on rides out, and like Jackie I have had reg PM's with people who are asking about upcoming rides.
You say your not going to renew your subs, well I have 4 emails off people saying the exact same thing because of your outburst, I do have to say I found the language in some of your posts totally unnecessary & actually childish, I was raised if you have to swear you have lost the argument, and yes it did result in being dragged down to a slanging match, I hope that the MODs do a good job with the editing tool today.
Emails I have & I will pass them on if they are ok state ' I do not feel I have the right to reply as I have only been a member on here for a few weeks/months' that's how some new members now feel, as has been said before, you cannot please all the people all the time, but my 100% karma is not just people looking at my profile its me being in contact with new members as well as old ones, talking to them including then & asking them if they will be joining ride outs, meet ups are put on the events page, there is no clique as you put it, unlike last year where certain members were arranging meet ups, rides out etc etc & only inviting some members & not putting them on the events page & then coming on here going on about how good a time was had by all (and no I do not refer to Kaz's birthday do... that was a birthday get together & yes should have been invite only).
Last weekend was a good meet up, you had members of all lengths there, some who will jokingly refer to themselves as hobbits/yeties some who dont IT DOESN'T MATTER one jot, so long as the fun is had by all there then the reason for the meet up has been achieved, thats why half of us carried on from Whitchurh to the Ponderosa.
I dont know about others, but I had no promises made to me when I joined the site, when I paid my membership, when I renewed my membership, Matt made no promises to me and I am still here, I have made some TRUE friends from here, they are now friends in life too, I met up with a great friend I had not seen for 27 years, and yes I have some friends who are forum friends who I will prob never meet but I for one am thankful I have met them.
I remember excluding people: I excluded someone on Sunday by offering to put fuel in their bike so they could continue the ride, with no criteria of repayment etcI excluded someone by carrying half their stuff to and from a rally so they could attendI excluded someone by putting their tent up for them at a different rally when they were strugglingI've excluded learner riders on a regular basis by setting my sat nav to "Avoid Motorways" and leading groups on ride outs at no more than 45mphI've excluded numerous people by arranging ride start points at my house on an open invitation to all (just PM me for address etc)The list continues... Oops... I seem to have missed a Not or Didn't somewhere...
Hi dc I have not meet you as yet but I do won't to meet you and many others on this site and if I have offended you then I am sorry I have looked at a few sites and felt unwelcome but let me just say after joining this site I have moved on from a very bad life not going out in fact to nervos to go out becus 2 years ago I was dragged out of my lorry by a bunch of tossers and kicked round the street becuse thay ran in to the back of my truck I spent a week in hospital and 12 months off work in the last few months I have started to move on and enjoy my life all thanks to the members of this site not just here but all over and I thank them all for the warm welcome thay have given me now as I said if I have offended you please acept my appologies but I'm not changing the way I am now cus I'm enjoying myself I do hope to meet you and I hope I can call you a friend soon John
My interpretation of D C's initial comments, in the chat room, is that she's sick of the middle earth/hobbit banter crap. Folk already know my opinion on that and I agree with DC. A bit of it is ok but it goes on forever and in more than one thread.
As for inclusion/exclusion sometimes I feel left out when a few people on the forum talk about the event they've all just attended but I don't take it personally. If I aint there I'm bound to feel left out, unfortunately that will happen every time there's an event and not all have attended. I'm sure that's not intentionally excluding others; it's natural to want to discuss the event but just remember when you post that someone may ask you what it's all about and in that case, as it's been made public, it would be polite to reply.
I have no idea why the site has gone quiet, maybe it is the banter altho it irritates me and seems childish it's hardly a hanging offence.
I can see where Steph (DC) is coming from, as a few of us 'old-timers' will know we have had this kind of thing before and a few of the original members don't seem to be around any more, but there's also a lot of new members joining everyday.
As a moderator I can say we have loads of new/altered profiles to get through, which shows how many people are joining.
If anyone feels excluded please pm one of the mods and we will look into it. Although I agree some of the threads can be a bit monotonous and 'childish' and I have moaned about them in the past, I also have to agree that if you don't want to be a part of them, don't read them.
Steph, PM sent mate, get yr hobnail boots off and answer me! Think we need a good night out!
I also have to agree that if you don't want to be a part of them, don't read them
Erm..Kaz we don't know it's not what we want to read until we've actually read it, and as it's in a lot of topics it's difficult to miss.
Every "public" meeting place be it on here or in a pub etc has it's up's and down's. The site does go boring and sometimes is full of drivel but on the upside it can be quite a scream.
I have met some wonderful people on here and made quite a few friends and not met some of them yet either, but have also met some nutters along the way aswell
Having been away from here for a while it has been like i never went away at all. If you want to join in the banter, rides out etc then there is no one stopping you except yourself. If it hadn't of been for people like RC and Darkcarnival plus many others making me feel so welcome the first time round I would never of come back.
I got fed up of trawling the site on Saturday looking for a ride out and was just about to give up when i spotted something, so sent off a text, got a reply the next morning and off I went, so yes i agree keep the rubbish out of the forum or at least keep it to a minimum
And for those I didnt say hello to on Sunday my apologies but on the other side of the coin, there was nothing stopping you from saying hello to me!
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