A friend of an ex-girlfriend of mine (whose nickname was TB cos of her Twa' Big'uns!) was frustrated cos her boyfriend had broken his leg a few weeks back and was in a cast so wasn't able to... er... fulfil her nightly desires as it were.
One night she had had enough so she threw him on his back and started making love cowgirl stylee... As she was riding away she was hearing these noises coming from her boyfriend that she hadn't heard before... thinking he was really enjoying it, she rode him harder and faster.... when he started screaming out loud she looked down and saw that one of the hooks from the anchor pendant she wore on her necklace was caught up his nostril!
A male friend of mine had an unresponsive girlfriend too, so I suggested to him that he did a bit of research into how he could improve his lovemaking.
The next time he made love to her, a few minutes in he felt her thighs grip his waist.... then a few minutes later her hands reached around his back....
Turned out she was putting her slippers on cos her feet were getting cold.
Yet another friend of mine met a girl at a party.... they went up to a bedroom, ripped each others clothes off and started making mad passionate love. As the guy was thrusting away, he noticed the girls toes were twitching.... then he realised that she hadn't actually taken her tights off.
lol - good point, HR!
But this was before chavs were 'invented' and she was from East Neuk of Fife fishing stock.
sheesh.... now you have me imagining what chav sex would sound like!!! (probably like Jimmy Saville jogging...)
LMFAO!!
You two do the best impressions of him! (I could hear his voice in my head as I read your words!!)
Me and the Jimster aren't the best of pals - when I was a kid I asked him to fix it for me to meet the Muppets! He never did... *sniff*
no, I got through it in the end...er... he... HE... got it through it in the end.... my friend... yes HE!!!
*cough*
Not so much a barrier contraceptive as a filter....
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