I'm kinda heartened by the fact that some people are getting the same treatment, now I know that sounds weird but at least its not me being singled out for the cold shoulder! If I were a less thick skinned individual, that sort of thing could put me off from trying to spark a conversation. Could be quite a stumbling block for the sensitive souls amongst us.
Kwak, if your male friends drop you because they start dating, they aren't your friends girl. I'll apologise now on behalf of the neanderthals that do this sort of thing.
Glad I made ya feel better DG lol
I understand their motives tho, a lot of women can't accept that their partner has female friends and it can cause terrible aggro; so I assume that for them it's easier just to let the friendship go.
I understand it but it still hurt when it happened, especially as one friend, who I'd known for 5 yrs, did the same thing twice and the third time he still expected me to resume our friendship when he'd stopped dating, by that time there was no friendship left. I'd lost all respect for him and trust in him.
*sigh* lol
Are some women really that bad over just a friendship? I thought trust came into the equation. I've never been jealous of my partners men friends because I trusted them, rightly or wrongly. If you don't have that, you don't have anything, you'll be constantly worrying that your partner might be straying to pastures new. A little bit of jealousy is good but when the green eyed monster takes over, thats bad I know men can be the same, overbearing, possessive, bloodyminded, so I'm not excusing them at all. I can only go from my own personal experiences, I think if I behaved like that it would be a sure sign that the relationship wasn't going to go very far.
LOL DG yep, a BOOBY prize.
Joking apart, it saddens me still cos he was a true friend, he's a good man but a lot older than me so I think he had different views on it, in his generation it wasn't heard of for men to have female friends so I guess he felt guilty, like he was betraying his girlfriend.
He couldn't tell her about me and that caused arguments between us, I felt like I was a dirty secret lol, we were just friends and if he'd introduced me to her she would have realised there was nothing untoward going on.
Silly man, but I know where your coming from Kwak. Thats a good advertisement for keeping any relationship open and honest, if you hide things sooner or later they'll catch up to you and bite you on the bum.
Common courtesy costs nothing
I tend to send PMs to all new folk in my area letting them know when next meets are etc, if they read but dont reply the only person losng out is them :), they miss out on nites out, ride outs ....... and meeting some fab folk
Very interesting topic. Particularly for me because of the friendship I have with BJ. I know she wont mind me saying this... but it has been like finding a sister I didn't know I had and I'm quite happy to say that that I consider her as my "best mate"...
any future partner of mine will have to accept that... if not then they are the wrong person for me....
I think a real friendship such as we have is rare and precious and from my part I will not allow anyone to undermine it.....
Bluey you make me blush
But have to agree with my new bro lol
Its funny how you can just click with someone from the off, he is truly my best mate and i aint scared to tell folk i love him too bits xxxxxxx
(And all because i pm'd him and like a div he replied lol)
(And all because i pm'd him and like a div he replied lol)
Aww... you say the nicest things BJ....
Tiz true though....
I love you too.... well as much as a good Bluenose can love a Villa fan.....there are limits y'know.....
now, where's that bucket....... PMSL
Real friendships are priceless..........................
Yeah !! Let's hear it for friendship . Without that there's not even a basis for a deeper relationship. It does take a degree of maturity tho to be able to see and accept the difference. Well done Bluey and BJ. .and Kwak. . you've lost nothing but heartache you didn't need, there was no true friendship there girl !!
thanks red,jp have looked into a few places up near loch Lomand as then there lots of places to ride out to a keep u informed
and a know what blue and bj are saying, and couldnt agree more You two would be good for the advert Comrade Aaron,s doing x
kwak thats such a shame and unfortunatley one day the guy will regret it, think it true what u said bout age, all of my girls have male freinds that they went to primary school with and are still pals,they all at some point have had girl/boy freinds that the other,s dont get on with but they come and go without any damage to the freindship.
You,ve sure started a great topic here DG...Yeah friendships/relationships, never the two shall meetb@llocks!!
Made some friends on this site & if I,m ever fortunate to meet the right one,then female friends would certainly still be part of my life & would have to be accepted, as would the case be the other side of things i.e she would probably have some great male friends too!!
And mad-get busy sorting something life by any of the Scottish Lochs has got to be good!!
Thanks Red, it was something that had got my goat over the last month or so. I just thought it was a pretty sad state of affairs when someone couldn't be bothered to reply to a courteous pm. I'm pleased that it has allowed other members to be able to voice their opinion on the subject.
Its also had the desired effect of promoting some discussion on the relative subjects of relationships and friendships.
Totally repect that not receiving a reply to a message can be considered 'rude'. This is my 2p worth
All friendship sites, no matter what the 'common interest' might be, are like sweetie shops. We browse the profiles and if we should see a profile/picture that attracts us, we take the 'bull by the horns' and drop that person a message. Fact is, it's easier to do this on line that to walk up to someone in a pub for example. If we did approach someone in a 'pub' and got ignored, there are all manner of emotional feelings that occur and have to deal with. On line, it should be so much easier to 'move on'.....because no-one can see you and see that you are offended!!!
On line is so much easier to not be offended.
That said, I do still consider it rude to ignore someone that has made the effort to say 'hello'.....
Shall I get my coat!!!
Being the gentleman I am I'll hold the door open for you on your way out
Good point BL, your right, it should be easier not to be offended, but it seems that still does rear its ugly head. The people that I say hi to online would be the same people I would say hello to at a 'pub'. It is so much easier to do that in a virtual way though than in reality. Good input BL
As was the case with you & I Trish..Enjoyed our chats via p.m
Such a simple thing to do--replying to someone-- I agree that yes it is easier to deal with online rejection, though none of my initial p.m,s have been of the nature "Hey I fancy you d,ya wanna date" niether have subsequent p.m,s!! Mine are usually info related or welcome p.m,s & usually get a reply..Even if the case were that I,d suggested a 'meet up' I would prefer a polite rejection via p.m than no reply at all..
I particulally like saying 'Taking you' (very loudly), to people that I have held the door open for, or moved out of their way etc....and they have ignorned me..................
RustyKnight In: Newton Aycliffe
Posts: 2462
Karma:
*I tend to send PMs to all new folk in my area letting them know when next meets are etc, if they read but dont reply the only person losng out is them :), they miss out on nites out, ride outs ....... and meeting some fab folk*
I do the same Jackie but find a lot of them expect me to keep them informed of any upcoming ride outs etc. It's like saying thanks for getting in touch and if there's anything i'm interested in going on I'll let you know!!
Its like a lot of things at one time if you were stopped on the side of the road bikers would pull over and see if thay could help but most just ride passed now. BL your right in all you have said about replying to folk, you even replyed to me when i sent you a pm but im still going to push you in the sea at barmouth lol
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