Dear Santa, could you please let my next four nights be safe as i don't want to eat my xmas dinner in hospital ! Thanyou most kindly and Merry xmas to you and the gang Pen x
Santa please please please don't get me a daft woolly jumper with a picture of a raindeer on it as it will guarantee me not to get laid on a saturday night, get me a Elvis suit from his Las Vegas period and a stick.
I hope the Elvis suit will do it, got the hots for a midget at the moment as she was dressed as wonder women and dancing about on a table in the pub the other night, so i figured the suit will give her the horn and i'll be in, The stick is for the dog because he like's sticks.
Sorry kids santa's been arrested, Rudolf stopped sharpish and santa inserted himself into his favourite deer. If he is released on bail im sure he will make his delivery if he still has the energy.