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Jokes, Games & Silly Things

Silly jokes

Silly jokes (41) - Forums [Biker Match]

Silly jokes (41) - Forums [Biker Match]

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Silly jokes

Posts: 2,438 Pages: 41/122

wheelbarrow
In: Cardigan
Posts: 750
Karma:

I just want to tell all my friends (which is most of you) that In 2011 the UK Government will start shipping retards abroad so that the country looks tidy for the olympics. My eyes watered when i thought of losing you. Love you. Be strong.

Take your crayons x

wheelbarrow @ 27/09/2010 22:41

GreasyTony
In: Camberley
Posts: 1325
Karma:

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

GreasyTony @ 30/09/2010 00:47

purpletwig
In: lymington
Posts: 699
Karma:

A little boy said to his Mum the other night,"Mom, will you tell me a fairy tale?" She said,"Wait till your dad comes home and he will tell us both one.!!"

purpletwig @ 30/09/2010 12:43

purpletwig
In: lymington
Posts: 699
Karma:

A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I've got 5 penises." The doctor replies "Blimey, how do your trousers fit?" Man says "Like a glove!"

purpletwig @ 30/09/2010 12:44

purpletwig
In: lymington
Posts: 699
Karma:

Q: If a motorcyclist runs into a woman, who is to blame?
...A: The motorcyclist is. He shouldn't have been riding in the kitchen.

purpletwig @ 30/09/2010 15:36

Fitchy
In: Yeovil
Posts: 299
Karma:

I met a girl at the park today..There was an instant spark between us, she fell at my feet and I made love to her... . . . . . . . Oh I love my new Tazer...

Fitchy @ 30/09/2010 16:17

Fitchy
In: Yeovil
Posts: 299
Karma:

My mate has been sha**ing twins who both like it up the A*se... "How do you tell them apart i asked?" "Easy" he said "Sally has long blonde hair and Derek has a moustache......"

Fitchy @ 30/09/2010 16:22

Fitchy
In: Yeovil
Posts: 299
Karma:

I woke up this morning at 8 and I could just smell something was wrong!! I rushed downstairs and the wife was lying face down in the kitchen, not breathing...I panicked...what am I gonna do??? . . . . . . Then I remembered......... McDonalds serve breakfast till 1030.

Fitchy @ 30/09/2010 16:27

Talis
In: Yateley
Posts: 116
Karma:

Oh I love my new Tazer...

Classic

Talis @ 30/09/2010 17:25

DriftnSlide
In: Belfast/Larne
Posts: 394
Karma:

A lesbian went for a smear test and the doctor told her, "That's the cleanest vagina I've ever seen!"
She replied, "Yes, I have a woman in twice a week!"

DriftnSlide @ 01/10/2010 01:48

DriftnSlide
In: Belfast/Larne
Posts: 394
Karma:

Three old boys, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf on a fine March day.

One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'

'No,' came the reply, 'it's Thursday.'

The third one says....., 'So am I. Let's have a beer ..

DriftnSlide @ 01/10/2010 01:51

DriftnSlide
In: Belfast/Larne
Posts: 394
Karma:

A little old lady was shuffling up and down the corridors in a nursing home flipping her nightie up and shouting "supersex" !!
She shuffles up to an old boy in a wheelchair, lifts up her nightie and says "supersex" !
He sat silently for a moment and answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

DriftnSlide @ 01/10/2010 01:57

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17952
Karma:

Thanks lads for my morning laughs

Sandi @ 01/10/2010 09:59

marsey
In: South Cumbria
Posts: 273
Karma:

Three Bikers, a Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Harley Rider were sitting in a sauna.

Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound. The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That w...as my pager", he said, “I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.”

A few minutes later a phone rang. The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.”

The Harley Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ass.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

The Harley Rider finally declared… “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!

marsey @ 01/10/2010 11:11

marsey
In: South Cumbria
Posts: 273
Karma:

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck
were spending the night together in a hotel room
and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was,
"Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said,
"No!"

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom,
they could not have sex.

'Maybe they sell them at the front desk,' she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

'Yes, we do,' the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, 'Would you like me to put them on your bill?'

"No!"

Donald quacked,

"I'll Thuffocate!"

marsey @ 01/10/2010 11:16

marsey
In: South Cumbria
Posts: 273
Karma:

Husband finishes reading the book 'Be the man of your house' and says to the wife 'From now on my word is Law. YOU will prepare me a gourmet meal 2nite with a sumptuous dessert. Afterwards we will have the kind of sex that I want. YOU will bathe me as I relax, towel me dry then massage my feet and back. Then 2morrow guess who will dress me and comb my hair?' Wife says 'The f@@king funeral director would be my first guess

marsey @ 01/10/2010 11:44

marsey
In: South Cumbria
Posts: 273
Karma:

I recently surveyed a hundred women, to see which shampooing products they prefer when showering.

98% said: "How the f@ck did you get in here?"

marsey @ 01/10/2010 11:51

Drum
In: Nowhere
Posts: 308
Karma:

My mate is addicted to drinking brake fluid. Mind you, he says he can stop anytime...

Drum @ 01/10/2010 11:55

marsey
In: South Cumbria
Posts: 273
Karma:

Sad news!!

Bloke who owned Odeon cinemas died today

His funeral is on Friday @ 2.10, 4.40, 6.50 and 8.00

marsey @ 01/10/2010 11:57

marsey
In: South Cumbria
Posts: 273
Karma:

A man gets home from work and asks his wife:-

'can you give me some good and bad news all in one sentence?'

wife replies 'yeah, you've got a bigger dick than your brother'.......

marsey @ 01/10/2010 12:02

Posts: 2,438 Pages: 41/122

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