A guy gets worried about his wife's increasing forgetfulness, so he goes to the Doctor. The G.P. Thinks for a second, "Well it's either Altzeimers, or advanced syphillis, The Guy reels back stunned. "What makes you say the, and how do you tell the difference?" The doctor went on to explain. " well, you see, at certain stages of both diseases, they have symptoms in common. and its very hard to tell which it is."
The Guy is not happy, "Well, what can be done about the situation?" The doc responded, " I tell you what...take her for a long drive in the country, and push her out. If she finds her way home again, do not make love to her anymore."
Remember this the next time you have major surgery and need a blood transfusion!! This is good to know!!Australian Medical Association researchers have foundthat patients needing blood transfusions may benefitfrom receiving chicken bloodrather than human blood.It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better....Just thought you'd like to know.
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For the men
Female aliens have invaded the planet and are kidnapping men with big thingies.....! Obviously you're not in danger, but I thought I would just post this to let you know, this space ship is awesome!!!!!!
Absolutely no offence intended to anyone, it is a joke
Went 4 a meal last nite.. I'm sitting there eating when 6 mentally handicapped people appeared from nowhere & started singing various lines from well known songs...
I didn't have a clue what was going on until I noticed at the bottom of the menu it said.....
"All dishes accompanied by a medley of vegetables"
Man watching football on tv, flicked over at half time and found a very explicit porn film playing, say's to wife "i don't know now wether to watch this or the game !"Wife says ....."watch this ...you already know how to play football !" pmsl !
<!--6e052d28b1806771e2d163a041d4a5d4-->The Italian Lover, a virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido, was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome , when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, "No." Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, "You finish?" Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear, "No, I Danish."
cheers wb ..here's another ....hope you ain't irish ,,, i'm just half lo ...paddy goes to work with a brand new flask ...all his mates are curious as to what it holds ,,,,paddy says well it's proper magic cus it keeps cold things cold and hot things hot ! so they ask ...what have you got in it then ? paddy says ...wait for it !!! 3 cups of coffee and a choc ice ! lol
ok ! it's long but not as long as wb ! bare with me ......to maintain a healthy level of insanity ...1 at lunch time sit in your parked car with shades on and point a hairdryer at every passing car , 2 on all your cheque stubs write for maijuana 3 order a diet water everytime you eat out 4 when you get your money from the atm scream ..i won ! 5 when leaving the zoo start running towards the car park yelling ...run for your lives they're loose 6 tell your kids over dinner ...due to the eco bust we're gonna have to let one of you go 7 pick up a box of condoms at boots go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is ... don't you love it !
Weirdoraptor In: Brough, E. Yorks
Posts: 2087
Karma:
Went home for lunch the other day feeling a bit horny, i said to the missus with a wink... "d'ya fancy a quickie?"
She looked at me lovingly and replied...." AS OPPOSED TO WHAT ?"
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