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Jokes, Games & Silly Things

Silly jokes

Silly jokes (47) - Forums [Biker Match] Silly jokes (47) - Forums [Biker Match]
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Silly jokes

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Paddy takes his girlfriend a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him through to the living room. She throws herself on the couch, pulls her panties off and says " you lucky boy, this is for the flowers". "Don't be silly", says Paddy, "you MUST have a vase somewhere".

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Weirdoraptor @ 02/11/2010 04:47  

very good guys, you two on night shifts or what

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wheelbarrow @ 02/11/2010 06:21  

NORM THE SAILOR Norm the Sailor





Norm, an old, retired Sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times' sake.





He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at-it as well as he can for a guy his age, but, needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing."





The prostitute replies, "Well, Norm, old sailor, you're doing about three knots."





"Three knots?" he asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"





She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back!"


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wheelbarrow @ 02/11/2010 15:26  


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Deleted Member @ 02/11/2010 16:01  

very good ! and yes i'm on nights for my sins. !

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honda baby @ 02/11/2010 17:39  

<!--6e052d28b1806771e2d163a041d4a5d4-->Im on me last one till Saturday night, good job works puters allow tinternet otherwise Id be bored out of my head

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wheelbarrow @ 03/11/2010 00:41  

Yup, i'm a vampire as well, lol.

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Weirdoraptor @ 03/11/2010 03:23  

Anyway, this Wayne Rooney bashing's going a bit too far. There were even reports of someone burning effigies of him outside Old Trafford last week.......... Turns out it was someone flogging baked potatoes.

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Weirdoraptor @ 03/11/2010 03:27  

Lad asks his dad a homework question ; What's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'? Dad says "that's hard, but i have an idea. Ask your mum if she would sleep with Wayne Rooney for £1 million" Mum says yes. Dad says "now ask your sister if she would" Sister says yes. Dad says "Ask your brother as well" Brother says yes. "Well there's your answer then son," says dad. "Theoretically - we're sitting on 3 million quid, but realistically - we're living with two slags and a feckin' faggot !"

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Weirdoraptor @ 03/11/2010 03:38  

After having sex with the local Jeremy Kyle reject, there's nothing worse than looking down to see a split condom hanging off your willy .... Especially if you weren't wearing one to begin with !

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Weirdoraptor @ 03/11/2010 03:44  

Just bought a Low Energy light bulb from B&Q. "Will you be putting it up yourself, sir ?" asked the assistant. "NO, cheeky tw*t " i said, "it's going in the bathroom!"

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Weirdoraptor @ 03/11/2010 03:51  

Girl asks her doctor "how many calories in sperm?" "Listen love," he says, "if you swallow nobody cares how fat you are."

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Weirdoraptor @ 03/11/2010 03:55  

Quality Weird Quality

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Fatbob16 @ 03/11/2010 11:13  

Man doing crossword asks wife " 4 letter word for female relative, ends in UNT?"
Wife says " AUNT"
Husband " Pass the tippex " !

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purpletwig @ 03/11/2010 14:13  

I'm getting tired of the double standards in my house .............. Wife comes home with 'Rampant Rabbit' as she's a naughty girl that needs a good seeing to .................... BUT ... When I order a mains powered "Fistmaster 5000 latex pussy with realistic elasticated bumhole and free, self cleaning attachment" Then I am some kind of sick bastard

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GreasyTony @ 03/11/2010 14:22  

Hey Tony - where do i order one of those !!!!!!!!!!!!

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Fatbob16 @ 03/11/2010 16:48  

I've got one you can borrow but she has a runny nose so may need emptying.

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Weirdoraptor @ 04/11/2010 00:33  

A farmer had a small pond on his farm beside an orchard. One day he took a large bucket and went to the orchard to pick fruit. As he approached the pond, he heard women shouting and laughing. Then he saw a crowd of young women skinny-dipping in ...his pond. When the women saw him, they all went to the deep end. One of them called to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!' The man replied, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies skinny-dipping or to make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he shouted, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'


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wheelbarrow @ 04/11/2010 13:37  

A baby shark swimming with his dad says "why do we circle people in the water and show them our fins?.... How come we don't just attack?" Dad says "son, they taste so much better without all that sh1t inside 'em"

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Weirdoraptor @ 04/11/2010 15:12  

Seemingly there are rumours going about that a woman has a certain "SPOT", and that if you hit this spot exactly in the right place and angle, it will turn her to jelly and you will be able to do anything you want to her.

Its called "The Chin"


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wheelbarrow @ 04/11/2010 21:05  

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