Little Patrick asked for a bike for christmas. His dad said "we'd get you one but our mortgage is £380,000 and your mam just lost her job"
Next day Patrick walked into the room with his suitcase packed.
His dad said "where you going son?"
Patrick replied " i walked past your room last night and heard you tellin mum you were pullin out. then i heard mum tell you to wait coz she was comin too. Im not staying here on me own with a 380,000 quid mortgage and no fuckin bike!"
Weirdoraptor In: Brough, E. Yorks
Posts: 2087
Karma:
Paddy's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.
His wife says "why don't you put an ad in the local paper?".
He does but 2 weeks later he's heard nothing an there's still no sign of the dog.
"What did you put in the paper?" she asked.
Paddy says......."Here Boy!"
Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doingPaddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder..'The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.Then, she walked off.Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde!We Need the height, and she gives us the bloody length!!
<wordtidy>A minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled. New dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
On the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way:
“The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk The second Sunday, my new dentures were hurting me a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures...and I couldn't shut up.”
</wordtidy>
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of TAMPONS and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy
replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's
my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be
able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."
</wordtidy>
<wordtidy> Politically Incorrect Joke of the Day
What do you call the first Afghan off the boat?
Amhere!
What do you call the second Afghan off the boat?
Amhere Azwel!
What do you call the third Afghan off the boat?
Amhere Azwell Azhim!
</wordtidy>
<!--6e052d28b1806771e2d163a041d4a5d4-->I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an “ ID ten T ” error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, “ ID ten T ” error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before? 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down: ID10T I used to like Eric, the little bastard
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