in 1872 the welsh invented the condom,using a sheeps bladder.however in 1873 the english somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the sheep first
in 1872 the welsh invented the condom,using a sheeps bladder.however in 1873 the english somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the sheep first
An irate father went round to his neighbours house and banged on the door until the occupant came. "I've told you before about your son going out with my daughter" he ranted, "last night when they were in the porch, the dirty bastard peed on my lawn and wrote his name in the snow"! The neighbour thought for a moment, then said "Yes, but if you look carefully, it is your daughter's handwriting".
A Policeman on horse says to little girl on her bike "Did Santa get you that?" Yes" said the little girl. "Well tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year" and fined her £5. The girl looked at the Policeman and said "Nice horse you've got there-did Santa bring you that?" The Policeman chuckles and said "He sure did!" ."Well next year, tell Santa the f!$%in dick goes under the horse not on it.......
On the last day of school before Christmas, the children brought gifts for their teacher.The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.Then the Off-Licence owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it."Is it wine?" she guessed."No," the boy replied.She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?""No," said the little boy....................."it's a PUPPY!!"
This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out to which he responds, "Sure lady." They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers," You know, I have an itchy pussy." To which he responds, "You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!!"
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times that her husband finally asks,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat."
Tarquin my racing snail was not winning any races .......So i decided to take off his shell to make him more aerodynamic ......It hasn't worked ! ...... If anything it's made him more SLUGGISH !
£14 for a Christmas meal for three people, thats why mums go to Iceland.
£10 for an 18 year old bouncing on your c&$k all day,
Thats why dads go to Thailand.
A prostitute told me I could have sex for £10 as she didn't have a womb!! I asked how we would do it then. She said 'acwoss the woad against the wailings'...
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, brings it home and hangs it on her bathroom door, One evening, while gettng udressed, she playfully says "mirror, mirror, on my door make my bust size 44".
instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs and tells her husband what happened, and in minuets they both return.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, mirror,mirror on the door make my penis touch the floor!.
Again there was a bright flash of light, ............................And his legs fall off
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