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Jokes, Games & Silly Things

Silly jokes

Silly jokes (83) - Forums [Biker Match]

Silly jokes (83) - Forums [Biker Match]

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Silly jokes

Posts: 2,438 Pages: 83/122

Littlefecker
In: Sheffield
Posts: 1790
Karma:

House party - always one left over in the morning! Lying on the floor behind the sofa, feckin legless cant stand, asked him where he lived, so I dragged him up, pulled him down the path to the car, feckin legs all over the place! Chucked him in the car n took him home. Dragged him up to his house , knocked on door n said " Brought your son home from the party " his Mum replied " did you bring his wheelchair...."

Littlefecker @ 29/09/2011 21:31

Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Karma:

thats awful fecker, - but good and so was yours kay. at least something makes me smile today.

Deleted Member @ 29/09/2011 23:53

Littlefecker
In: Sheffield
Posts: 1790
Karma:

Took a guy home after clubbing last night. After a few drinks at mine, we went upstairs & while we were taking our clothes off a voice came from the bed and said "I hope thats not that fat bugger from last week". The guy said "What the heck was that?" "I said its that bloody memory foam mattress"

Littlefecker @ 30/09/2011 00:20

Littlefecker
In: Sheffield
Posts: 1790
Karma:

I treated my other half to one of those 'fish pedicures' the other day, and I must say, I was very pleased with the result. Those Piranhas don't mess about!

Littlefecker @ 04/10/2011 02:22

Littlefecker
In: Sheffield
Posts: 1790
Karma:

I was staring out the window when my wife said, "It looks different doesn't it?""Yeah, normally the green grassy bit is down and the blue cloudy bit is up."After a long pause she asked, "What are you thinking darling?""I'm thinking why the hell did i let you drive?"

Littlefecker @ 05/10/2011 11:04

wheelbarrow
In: Cardigan
Posts: 750
Karma:

My dog Minton has swallowed a shuttlecock,
Bad minton :-)

wheelbarrow @ 07/10/2011 08:12

Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Karma:

Cheryl Cole goes to the hairdressers and says "I'd like a perm please".So the stylist says "I wandered lonley as a cloud".

Deleted Member @ 07/10/2011 08:55

car and bike man
In: stockport
Posts: 197
Karma:

car and bike man @ 08/10/2011 15:45

Littlefecker
In: Sheffield
Posts: 1790
Karma:

I failed a health and safety course at work today, one of the questions was " In the event of fire, what steps would you take? " apparently, feckin big ones was the wrong answer!

Littlefecker @ 09/10/2011 11:08

Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Karma:

Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Newcastle . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. By the weekend his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he tries to pee.

Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Newcastle . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. By the weekend his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he tries to pee.

Deleted Member @ 09/10/2011 19:29

Littlefecker
In: Sheffield
Posts: 1790
Karma:

Littlefecker @ 09/10/2011 20:24

Weirdoraptor
In: Brough, E. Yorks
Posts: 2087
Karma:

That's the last time i use my sexy Sean Connery voice to tell the missus to sit on my face !

Weirdoraptor @ 11/10/2011 02:13

Weirdoraptor
In: Brough, E. Yorks
Posts: 2087
Karma:

I said to my wife this morning.. "when i die , i'm going to leave everything to you". She said.."you already do, you lazy fat bastard!" BITCH

Weirdoraptor @ 11/10/2011 02:22

wheelbarrow
In: Cardigan
Posts: 750
Karma:

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath, he asked, Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later. The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?' The nun replied, 'He went that way.' After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Afghanistan .." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs." The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls...I don't want to go to Afghanistan either."

wheelbarrow @ 11/10/2011 06:51

bandit lover
In: Birmingham
Posts: 7765
Karma:

I wonder if Liam Fox wasn't just a little over-enthusiastic when it came to "Take a friend to work" day???

bandit lover @ 11/10/2011 07:49

wheelbarrow
In: Cardigan
Posts: 750
Karma:

Paul McCartney is already upset with his new wife, apparently she is spending twice as much on shoes as the last one

wheelbarrow @ 12/10/2011 14:04

kaycat
In: radcliffe Manche
Posts: 6337
Karma:

"Black beauty, now there's a dark horse!!!"

kaycat @ 12/10/2011 21:04

kaycat
In: radcliffe Manche
Posts: 6337
Karma:

"I saw a bargain the other day, a TV set for £1. Only problem was the volume control which was stuck on full. Come on, how can you turn that down?"

kaycat @ 12/10/2011 21:05

kaycat
In: radcliffe Manche
Posts: 6337
Karma:

"Three cheers for rap music! Hip Hop!" Hip Hop!" Hip Hop!"

kaycat @ 12/10/2011 21:12

Littlefecker
In: Sheffield
Posts: 1790
Karma:

Paul McCartney's finding it hard to adjust to his new wife, when she asks for a foot rub, he still keeps reaching for the sandpaper

Littlefecker @ 13/10/2011 01:27

Posts: 2,438 Pages: 83/122

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