I just took a leaflet out of my letterbox informing me I can enjoy sex at 75.......
Thats fantastic news because I live at 67 so its not far to walk home afterwards!
A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw
a woman about to jump off a bridge... so they stopped and
parked their Harleys.
Their leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says,
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an
opportunity either, so he asked her... "Well, before you jump, why don't
you give me a kiss?"
So she does....
And it was a long, deep, lingering, spine-tingling kiss.
After she's finished, the biker leader says, "Wow! That was the
best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you are wasting.
You could be famous. Why in the world would you want
to commit suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl.."
The authorities think she may have been pushed…
My neighbours always having a dig about my weight, he asked me the other day "why are you such a fat "?
I replied "its your wife's fault m8, everytime I sleep with her she gives me a chocolate biscuit"!
My mate said to me "The missus left a note on the telly for me. 'It's not working, I'm leaving....' I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it."...
I went for a testicle check up last week. The little Thai nurse cupped my balls and said, "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get a erection during this procedure. "I said, "I haven't got an erection, "She said, "No but i have!"
Just got a text from my sis with these jokes, I think her grandson sent them to her lol
Man goes to doc with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his bottom, the doc says...
...'I'm sorry but it's just the tip of the iceburg'
Another man goes to doc and says 'I'm pooing cubes' so the doc cut 4inches off his string vest
PML
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday and she replied "A spa would be nice ," ..Ok i said , jabbing her three times , before flooring her with a cheeky right hook !!
A mother is cleaning her 12 year old sons bedroom when she finds a load of bondage gear & fetish mags she asks he husband "what do you think we should do?" he replies "im no expert love but I dont think you should spank him"
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