ok i have had this convosation a few times.
can men and women just be friends?
i have many male friends but find that when they meet a new partner you loose touch.
depends on the fella and the new woman - i have 3 good male friends who have partners but since the women dont appear to see me as a threat it seems ok....having said that we arent in each others pockets either and i sometimes dont hear from them for a week at a time.
I think some women (and men for that matter) find their partners having friends of the opposite sex a bit threatening and theres nothing worse than having insecurities to bring out the worst in you.
my own green dragon of jealousy rears his ugly damn head every now and then,but we've become closer by my efforts to kerb this destructive side...(self destructive mostly),maturity was never one of my strongest traits,even before the stroke.looking back ,can only laugh in dismay at how petty i can be when i put me mind?to it.self realisation is the key perhaps ....sigmund freud signing offski.xx
I have more women friends than men
Not sure what that's supposed to tell me though
Some of them are attatched
Quite a few are single
But maybe none of them, including the men, see me as a threat
When I'm in the company of "some" single women
I'm never sure whether I'm in "friends" territory
Or a "single man"
But I guess that's a common affliction to both sexes
I have "banter" with both genders and serious conversations too
I really should be enjoying this
But I keep expecting someone to say
OK you've had your fun
Now you've got to do the boring stuff
But fingers crossed I'll be too busy having a good time at a rally
To hear them anyway
Party on folks
Don't let other people make your choices for you
I have way more female friends than male and it can cause the odd looks now and again. the problem is in the passed we have all been dumped on and when we start a new relationship we try not to introduce our new partner to a load of male or female friends.; so we tend to let friendships lapse
Same here Ronnie, the minute my male friends got a bit serious with their grilfriend our friendship became the victim.
One friend I had for 5 yrs and not only did he let our friendship die a sudden death he disowned me too. He told her he didn't know why I was texting him.
He ditched our friendship 3 times, each time his relationship ended he wanted to rekindle our friendship, the third time I decided enough was enough.
Now when a man asks if we can be friends I tend not to take it too seriously, and expect the inevitable to happen yet again when he meets someone special.
I believe men would remain friends with female friends if some women weren't so insecure and felt threatened by it, some men too.
However, I also think most men can't be friends with women they don't fancy so that's probably why some women feel insecure.
Sandi says. I also think most men can't be friends with women they don't fancy so that's probably why some women feel insecure.
Thats rubbish how can you say that ? I and many other male members have female friends all over the uk does that mean we fancy them all NO
lol sandi i agree with you. i think a lot of men become friends with women out of lust lol they fancy them and think by becoming friends they may have a chance.
i am friends with a couple of blokes i used to date. to be honest i am much closer as a friend than i was in the relationship.
have to say lads i said a lot and not all there r some exceptions.
Have to say I agree with Sandi, most men I came across (in the past not recently) who I thought wanted to be friends and 'hang out' with me just disappeared once a prettier woman came along who they wanted to go out with. Never heard a word from any of them ever again yet for months they were happy to be around me for me to feed them, lend them dosh, give them shelter, listen to their woes etc etc
Not having a go at all guys btw!
I think some guys just don't see the point in hanging out with a woman unless they are shagging them, or getting something from them but that is their choice
P.S And yes there are women who do the same to guys so it ain't all one-sided.
I think that insecurity plays a big part in why men and women find it difficult to remain friends when a new partner comes on the scene.
Dave and I never worried about "other sex" friends that either of us had, we were secure in our relationship and our feelings for each other.
One of our friends, asked Dave if I would be jealous if she gave him a hug, he said no, that I was secure in his love for me and he was secure in my love for him. End of story.
Besides which, I knew although he was an incorrigible flirt, he didn't want to wander.
I am rarely jealous, too much of a waste of energy, like being bitter, it hurts no-one more than the person being jealous or bitter.
I might not see my male friends on a regular basis, but they know, when we do meet up, I'll still be same person and won't try to run their lives for them, or try to come on to them either. They pay me the same compliment of just treating me as a mate.
well until joining bm all my friends were men and not cos they wanted to shag me just because most women i found too bitchy,opinionated and didnt really like me cos i A:ride a big bike B:cos i got loads of tatoos C:cos i can have fun with blokes without it having to turn into sex. now i have more female friends than ive ever had about ten i think and i get on great with them.and im not the sort of person who drops theie mates cos a new bloke comes around.mainly cos i know that when it all goes pear shaped my mates will be there to hug me and tell me it will be ok and that he was a twat etc etc lol thats what true friendship is
I'm glad you said that zzrbabe42, some peeps have made comments like if a man has a Female friend he probably wants to shag them, well I'm not one of them, but maybe that's just me?
I have come out of a 28 year relationship so making Female friends is great as I have not had any in years, I should also add that I don't have many Male Friends, this may be due to a "Mate" trying it on with my ex some years ago, he was like a Brother to me and I lost Trust in Male friends after that (I should add that she liked him a lot too!).
So to all those ladies out there, If I chat or even Flirt? it does not mean I want a Shag, I want to be a Friend! (what a Dull B*stard)
Tel.
I have to agree with Viking Tel i am coming out of a 33 year relationship, just want female company and friendship,if anything more happens so be it ,but that is not priority no one night stands here. Colin
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