How do peeps cope with fallin or think they have fallen for the wrong person....
How do you cope with a big dose of ''mistrust''.....but then sayin that that goes for friends and lover alike.....
Had a few conversations with friends today.....it makes me think.....confusion its horrible
Would like to say to those i have spoken tonight, pls ask me if this is directed as you as its not as dark as it seems....lol
i find it hartd trustin peeps anyway, esp the man i seein now i forgave him once hes lied well hidden sumit from me again but i luv him so much even though i know hes totally wrong for me n ill never trust him now .Wot do u do?
I have a bad case of mistrusting people as my ex lied so much to me about lots of things but I always took him back as I adored him. The met someone else whp promised me the earth and found out he was lying too so now its very hard for me to trust anyone.
But hey lifes for living girls and we gota get out there and try again only be more careful next time but have fun along the way wooohoooo
Agree with Oggy ladies,life is to short to waste it with someone who you know isn't the one.Once trust is broken it will never be the same and why settle for second best.
The hardest part is breaking free but the rewards are so worth it and you deserve better.x
I think the problem is that us girls have an idea of our perfect man and want to find him and trust him explicitly, in reality i dont think anyone is 100% trustworthy, ive tried making compromises but thats always one sided as well. Oggys right, if it dont feel right get out sooner rather than later.
well said guys and gals, we all seem to have a sorry tale to tell, you got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. My ex husband leaving me was the worst time in my life but in reflection was the best thing that ever happened! My only regret is that i didn't have the guts to get out of the wrong relationship sooner and wasted all those years....
ooooohhh a biggie here hun lol!! I think gets harder the more history you have and more experiences you have of being lied to or let down (and this doesnt just go for relationships with men although for many of us ladies, I guess it's probably the case more than often!) Ive found you have to accept and let go of the past, move on with as open a mind as possible but still being wary and not to willing to trust unconditionally. Give yourself time to get to know people and trust them as friends first and then see what happens..................even then, you really dont know anyone until you spend time/live with them and they too may have past demons and issues to deal with - some they have and some they definately havent!!! Live life as best as you can and to the full, do what you can and accept that no one is perfect I guess - any more than you are! Be happy, take life as it comes and dont expect too much...............if someone lies or lets you down or they just dont feel right - dont drag it out cos the inevitable will happen, trust your instincts, and do what's right for you cos it will almost be right for them too - even if its not what you want and it hurts!!! One big lesson Ive learnt is that is you feel something isnt right - then it probably isnt and being with the wrong person wont make you happy. Being on your own, no matter how hard, is definately the better option........you can find yourself again, surround yourself with the right kinds of friends and move on again........you never know what is round that corner.........gotta have hope, dont give up and just accept who and what we are...........life is never easy is it? All the best hun, it'll all work out, it usually does!!!
Sandy
x
ive done it too lou... you know cuz ive told you... its very hard.. but like the others have said, you have to walk away.. even when it kills you to do it. and remember, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.. and it may may not be apparant at the time.. but all fits into place eventually. good luck, you know where i am if you need me. xxx
Trust and loyalty are huge words in todays society, I have always come from the point of trusting no-one until it is earnt, then when you do meet good people it is a pleasant surprise as opposed to another let down, as Dangermouse says, there are good people about, but a lot of selfish and self centred ones as well. You must never 'put up' with what you have, you deserve the best, get rid and move on.
yeah, I must admit I agree with you on the trust thing gedasm-been there done that got the t-shirt and if you've got any sense you learn by it big time!!! Im from a very close loving family and had no reason not to trust until I grew up and learnt that not everyone is like you and your family unfortunately!!! It's a sad thing to say but trusting people, especially in todays' world is something that has to be proved and earnt!! Too easy to get taken advantage of and let down otherwise - gotta be very careful today! - for every decent trustworthy person out there there's plenty more just waiting for the opportunity to take you for a ride (and I dont mean as a pillion on a motorbike either lol!!!) Ive certainly taught my kids to be careful, wise and very streetwise and they will teach theirs to do the same too! Afterall, we even talk to strangers in our own homes now via the net.........................gotta be safe above all else!!!
Sandy
x
My hero up n left me in march,just said he"d had enuff wasnt interested in talking or anything,just took his stuff & his daughter n went, now im 2 stone lighter,mostly happier just got new job just about managing to keep bills paid and still keep my bike,am now making new friends. So despite the fact in march i thought id never be happy again things are turning around and yes next time im gonna be very carefull dont want a hero anymore they only exist in films.lol.
bluesbiker In: Birmingham in th
Posts: 2510
Karma:
I was in a marriage for 5 years that i knew i didn't want. but still went ahead. It was a misery for us both. In the end she left me and is now in a happy relationship for which i am glad.
If you know in your heart it isnt going to work then you've got to put an end to it. It'll end anyway but the pain will be worse.
Every body has history and a tail of lies n all the things that go with it. But no matter how dark it gets, it never last for ever. For most life has had its ups n downs. The only thing to do is get out there and meet people. Because people is what life is all about, interacting with them sharring.
It is perfect if you meet the right person, but for some im not sure they exist. iv been in a few relationships were i make all the running only to find it did not get the responce i wanted.
But nothing changes and no matter how upsetting it is in the end, i will keep on doing the running, n pick my self up n do it all over again. Because you dont know how long we are here for and most of the time life is just fantastic.
Keep smile on your face.
well i could write an epic of major proportions here lol
life is for the living,treat people how you expect to get treated and eventually we all hope that the right person your friend ,soulmate and lover will arrive.ive been hurt alot however ive 2 great kids so it couldnt of all been bad!!Never doubt yourself and dont get into a cycle of mistrust,loads of partners etc. it dont work.SO MY ADVICE IS BE YOUR SELF,YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE !!!!!!!!!Dont try to be something your not !!!like a sheep lol
Be good,be brave,be honourable and be your self.
Hope thats of some help peeps
tony d xx
Trust is probably the biggest issue in any relationship. Completely agree with others though, trust must be earned. You must display some trust at first though and just see how things go.
Once you've met the right person, then you will know though x
If the relationship doesnt flow, is too much like hard work and/or is one sided , then alarm bells should ring. If both parties know that they wish to continue to be together then it is worth hanging on in and working it through otherwise..........
Listen and trust your inner voice and be guided by it no matter how initially hard on you your course of action may have to be.
By being with the wrong person may mean that you are denying the opportunity to meet the right person and find the true happiness that is really being sought.
GG
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