"I'm sorry, he'll just have to wait. I'm busy" said by Linda Falkner a petrol station assistant, when she was told a gunman was trying to rob the place.
"I'm going to go with something Japanese this time" said by Vince Mattingley who found out that the chinese tattoo (done 26 years ago)that he though was his name actually read Coca Cola.
British News From the Churchdown Parish Magazine:
'Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church labelled 'For The Sick' , is for monetary donations only.'
From The Daily Telegraph
A piece headed 'Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes' :
' ... the money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels.'
From The Derby Abbey Community News:
'We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce.'
From The Gloucester Citizen:
'A caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled, 'Hear Me Moan', the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, 'He got what he deserved.'
From The Atlanta Daily:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.
Men are so easy....
From The Guardian Newspaper
Concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand:
'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'
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