BIKER STORY Receives New York Times BestA biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the biker says, 'Sir, this was the mostgallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.'The biker replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist from the New York Times, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page...So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation doyou have?''The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH !
Ain't that the truth?!
In similar vein, the scuttlebut has it that Ken Livingstone's last-ditch attempt to recover his popularity and be relected as mayor of London would have involved him walking on water from Blackwall to the Millennium Dome.
No probs, Ken could do it - until some brght young spin doctor pointed out the inevitable Evening Standard headline:
LIVINGSTONE FAILS IN BID TO SWIM THAMES
Ken Livingstone could of won if only his campain slogan read i am not Brois. come on i feel sorry for them in london (not a lot) but that boris is a complete F**ktard i would not trust him to sort a piss up in a brewery. that guy could not score in a brothel with a fistfull of dollars. but i a brighter note he wont come around here with liverpool down the road. well not after he had to say sorry for the last time he was here. in short potictians why can't we just shoot them all and be done with it.
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