I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts.
For Example
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well the passion starts to heat up and eventually she says. "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."
I said "What? Whats that about?"
So she says the words every boyfreind on the planet dreads to hear.
"You are not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman, enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She added. "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I can do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing nothing was going to happen that night...... I went to sleep.
The very next day, I took a day off work to spend the time shopping with her, we went for a nice meal, and went to a very expensive department store. I walked with her while she tried on several outfits. She couldn't decide on which one to take, so I told her to take them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I told her to pick a pair for each outfit.
We went to the jewellry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earings she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me as she picked out a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even play tennis. But I think I threw her a loop because I just said "Thats fine honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all this excitement. Smiling from all the excitement she finally said "I think this is all dear... lets go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey I don't feel like it."
Her face dropped as she said "WHAT!!."
I said, "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You are not in touch my my financial needs as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she looked like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I can buy you?"
Apparently I am not having sex tonight either.........
(But at least the bitch knows I'm smarter than her!)