40-ish = 49 Adventurous = Slept with everyone Athletic = No tits Average looking = Ugly Beautiful = Pathological liar Buxom = Fat Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills Cuddly = Fat Emotionally Secure = On medication Feminist = Fat Free Spirit = Junkie Friendship First = Trying to live down slut reputation Fun = Annoying Large framed = Hugely fat New Age = Body hair in all the wrong places Open-minded = Desperate Outgoing = Loud and embarrassing Passionate = Sloppy drunk Professional = Bitch Seeking Soulmate = Stalker Voluptuous = Very fat
Yes = No No = No Maybe = No We need = I want I am sorry = You'll be sorry We need to talk = You're in trouble Sure, go ahead = You'd better not! Do what you want = You'll pay for this later! I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Men's English
I am hungry = I am hungry I am sleepy = I am sleepy I am tired = I am tired Nice dress = Nice cleavage! I love you = Let's have sex now! I am bored = Do you want to have sex? May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
he heh - excellent!
After my bro's separation we used to spend the evenings looking through the onlite dating sites!
Some of the descriptions were priceless!
One woman wrote in her email to him that she was never happier than when she was 20 feet up in some trees... we were going to write back saying that he was really looking for someone who was happier at 40-45 feet but we decided against it...
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating, she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However, when she is experiencing PMS, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
i did try a dating site once it's a minefield most of what WB post says is true full o nutter's men an women!![me included]cuddly an bubbly[fat an annoying!] being most used word's!!an none looks like there profile pic!yer best of bein single i tells ya!!some of the ladys i did meet complained mostly of men exagerating there height!which i didnt of course!
some of the ladys i did meet complained mostly of men exagerating there height!
I think that could be their fault, TM. Many many moons ago I went to meet a girl that I had been chatting to on a dating site. First thing she said to me when I got off the train was "Oh, your shorter than I thought you were"... date went downhill from there... However, checked the next day and my height was correct on my profile!!
And don't ever meet someone who says they "can't" upload a photo of themselves!
It was more believable 10 years ago as not everybody had digital cameras/web cams/mobiles etc... but even so... what an eejit I was!
I actually burst out laughing when it became apparent that the somewhat effeminate and grossly obese individual, wearing an ill-fitting suit, was the "rugged, rugby player type" that I was expecting to meet!
If that's "rugged" then I must be the most butch woman ever to walk the planet!
Not as good as the original I had, but this is the best I can find at the mo for the Male Personal Ads:
40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking............ Arrogant Honest.................. Pathological Liar Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent Mature.................. Until you get to know him Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer
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