Please note that the following is a "fairly" long post, does not represent my personal views or any of the BikerMatch staff and could arguably be applicable to any number of 125cc owners!!
A Glossary of Terms for Honda CG125 Owners
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A Tank Full of Petrol – a measurement of fuel “range”. (See ‘Stopping for Petrol’ and ‘Fuel Economy’)<o:p></o:p>
Most motorcyclists strangely measure the “range” of their petrol tanks in miles, rather than continents. So the tank “range” for an inferior motorcycle setting off from, for example, Yorkshire could be considered as little as “being able to get you to London” as opposed to a more normal tank range as CG owners would consider it as “being able to get you to Bangkok".<o:p></o:p>
Commuting by Motorcycle – riding your motorcycle to work. (See ‘Touring’)
This is a good thing. However, quite often motorcyclists can be found purchasing a new motorcycle specifically for the purpose of riding to work and using their current motorcycle for something called “leisure riding”. This is apparently because riding to work requires a smaller, more agile, more economical (pron. eco-nom-i-cal) motorcycle. CG owners know full well though that riding to work is no different to any other form of riding and as such have no need to waste money on more than one motorcycle.<o:p></o:p>
Doing a ton – reaching the mythical speed of 100mph. (See ‘Top Speed’ and ‘Giving It a Hand Full’)
Any claim offered by any motorcyclist to have reached a speed of 100mph are of course to be ignored. Any CG owner can explain that the human body is incapable of surviving speeds much in excess of 68mph and that no vehicle has ever been invented that would dare exceed this potentially lethal limit. Indeed, the 70mph national motorway speed limit is in place for personal safety reasons as to exceed this speed would undoubtedly result in instantaneous disintegration.
Fuel Economy – the rate at which an engine burns fuel (pron. e-con-om-e). (See ‘A Tank Full of Petrol’ and ‘Stopping for Petrol’)
CG owners quite rightly will stand confused when riders of other motorcycles speak of the “fuel economy” of their engines. Some may even boast of clearly incorrect levels of “fuel economy” of around sixty or even more ludicrously, fifty miles per gallon of petrol. This is to be considered either a blatant lie or a blind confession of something clearly wrong with the running of their motorcycle.
Getting Your Knee Down – leaning a motorcycle so far over that the rider’s knee touches the ground. (See ‘Handling Problems’ and ‘Hanging Off’)
It is believed that this strange ritual originated from a long gone small tribe once living in deepest South America, where boys as part of their coming of age ceremony would get down on one knee and spin round very fast until they fall over due to dizziness or were sick. This then somehow progressed to motorcycle racing where riders would try and put their knee on the ground on corners to demonstrate their manliness and from there it progressed to riders on the road. CG owners know full well that a rider’s knees should be up by the handlebars where they belong and the only time a knee should touch the floor is whilst adjusting the rear drum brake.
Giving It a Hand-Full – twisting the throttle more quickly to increase the level of acceleration.
Some riders with pointlessly powerful motorcycles refer to “giving it a hand full” in relation to accelerating at a rate generally unnecessary for the road in question. CG owners however know that the term “giving it a hand full” correctly refers to twisting the throttle around as far as it will possibly turn in order to make the bike go. This is perfectly normal and any ridicule at bike meets or similar is to be ignored.
Going Two Up – having two people on a motorcycle.
Why??? Surely it would simply make more sense to buy another CG?
Handling Problems – the term used when a motorcycle does not go around corners as expected.
This term is accepted by CG owners as being a confession by another motorcyclist that they do not know how to ride. Comments such as “the back end was all over the place” or “the front is following white lines” or “I can’t feel what either wheel is doing” are obviously comments borne from an ignorance of how a motorcycle normally and properly feels. Any such comments are to therefore be ignored.
Hanging Off – leaning off a motorcycle on a corner because Rossi does it.
Many riders truly believe the ridiculous suggestion that “hanging off” on a corner improves grip and allows for higher cornering speed. CG owners know that this is nonsensical and totally untrue. The truth is that these riders are copying their favourite racing star but are unaware of one very important fact, the fact that due to the tightness of their leathers and the amount of time spent hunched up on pointlessly uncomfortable motorcycles, most motorcycle racers actually suffer from permanent haemorrhoids. As such they are unable to sit in one position for any great length of time and instead move their bums around on the seat during races.
Headlight – situated at the front of the motorcycle this clever unit glows when the ignition is turned on to inform the rider that the electrics are working satisfactorily. (See ‘Riding at Night’)
Many motorcyclists riding other forms of motorcycle strangely insist on trying to use the headlight to show the way whilst riding at night and often even include the headlight amongst their criteria for choosing a particular motorcycle. CG owners understand however that doing this severely limits the choice of machinery and is to be considered a pointless exercise given that there are a great number of suitable torches for sale at the local B&Q that perform this task quite well.
Needing a New Tyre – requiring a tyre to be replaced because it has “worn out”.<o:p></o:p>
This strange phenomenon is as a direct result of many totally clueless motorcyclists that pay a lot of money for machinery knowing full well that the motorcycle in question suffers from the severe defect of the tyres wearing out. Some motorcycles can actually “wear out” their tyres in as little as two thousand miles (roughly half a tank full of petrol) or even less! The owners of these motorcycles then seem perfectly happy to purchase further tyres without complaint knowing that these tyres will again wear out. CG owners do not of course suffer from this “mental illness” and have already purchased a motorcycle that does not “wear out”.
Overtake – to go past a vehicle travelling at a lower speed than you. (See ‘Top Speed’)
CG owners have more fun discussing the overtaking manoeuvres of other riders than any other subject. To perform an overtake should be an extremely personal, almost religious moment in any motorcyclists life. To simply ride up behind a vehicle, accelerate and within a matter of seconds be past the vehicle is felt to be missing the point altogether. CG owners know that an overtake should be planned hours, if not days ahead of time, that the difference in speed between the overtaking motorcycle and the vehicle being overtaking should be no more than 3mph at the very most and that the actual overtake itself should be prolonged as long as is humanly possible. Overtakes lasting less than two or three hours are considered vile and virtually sacrilegious.
Riding At Night – using your motorcycle after dark. (See ‘Headlight’)
This is to be avoided at all costs. Humans are not nocturnal, so sleep at night and ride by day. Usually all day as this is how long it takes to get anywhere. <o:p></o:p>
Stopping for Petrol – refilling the petrol tank before it “runs out”.<o:p></o:p>
This involves pulling into one of the many petroleum retail units in the country, commonly called petrol stations and using an odd and fairly alien looking device known as a fuel nozzle, refilling the petrol tank of your motorcycle. The object on the top of the petrol tank, often mistakenly thought of as pure decoration amongst CG owners, is in fact a cap, which with the assistance of the ignition key opens to allow for the aforementioned refilling of the petrol tank. Often a huge surprise to those CG owners that do decide to circumnavigate the globe is that the contents of the petrol tank is not actually infinite and will, over time, deplete ... much like the evaporation of the oceans.
Suspension – the bits on the front and back that goes boing. (See ‘Handling Problems’)<o:p></o:p>
Many motorcycles have highly elaborate and unnecessarily expensive suspension units. Many have adjustments for such imaginary principles as free-load, concussion dumping and re-bund dumping. These are in reality nothing more than screws and dials which are provided for show and do not actually do anything other than make a novice motorcyclist believe he is “dialling in” his motorcycle. Many riders will spend hours tweaking and turning these adjustments until they claim the suspension is set “right for them”, when in reality they have changed nothing. CG owners know of course that if you push the motorcycle down and release, if it going boing and comes back up, your suspension is set perfectly.
Top Speed – the highest speed possibly attainable.
68mph. No more needs to be said. Ok, 73mph downhill with a tail wind.
Touring – the concept of travelling by motorcycle for prolonged periods.
To many motorcyclists the concept of “touring” is one that takes a lot of planning and will require many, many hours sat in the saddle travelling to far off places, like Swansea. To a CG owner, this is just life!
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