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dbdb
In: Birmingham
Posts: 49
Karma:

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2006: <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!] <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!] <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!] <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on">Enfield</st1:City> (<st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">London</st1:place></st1:City>) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!] <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Man Struck By Lightning: Faces <st1:place w:st="on">Battery</st1:place> Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?] <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Local</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">High School</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]<o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead <o:p></o:p> <o:p> </o:p>

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2006: <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
  Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!] <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!] <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!] <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on">Enfield</st1:City> (<st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">London</st1:place></st1:City>) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!] <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces <st1:place w:st="on">Battery</st1:place> Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?] <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
<st1:place w:st="on"><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Local</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">High School</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]<o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
 <o:p></o:p>
And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead <o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>

Update Reply

dbdb @ 01/02/2007 15:38

Di
In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452
Karma:

my ribs hurt now

Update Reply

Di @ 01/02/2007 16:16

witchiest
In: hinckley
Posts: 1570
Karma:

u sure know how to make me smile!

Update Reply

witchiest @ 01/02/2007 16:22

rubecula
In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991
Karma:

I love them............. Absolutely Brilliant. dbdb you should look up the Darwin Awards mate. (I put a link on here some months back) If you can, you should read them....... I think you will find them funny.

Update Reply

rubecula @ 02/02/2007 11:36