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Mental health hotline

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Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Karma:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you." If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are a blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. 
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. 
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. 
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. 
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. 
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. 
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. 
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line. 
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. 
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0. 
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. 
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. 
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you." 
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever. 
If you are a blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Update Reply

Deleted Member @ 01/07/2010 01:17

anneka56
In: Stockport
Posts: 2525
Karma:

Think the last one is my option !!!!!!!

Update Reply

anneka56 @ 01/07/2010 09:11

Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17948
Karma:

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever. PML me to a T, I dunno about that last sentence tho

Update Reply

Sandi @ 01/07/2010 23:39