New York resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and familywhen she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearanceon the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first questionand proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst useof lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's hostMeredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'A) A PeanutB) An ElephantC) The MoonD) Hey, who you calling large?Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did notreadily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,but I have no idea how large they would be.'Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which wasbigger, an elephant or the moon.. However, faced with an incrediblyeasy question, Evans still remained unsure.'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friendBetsy, who is an office assistant.'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call.'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds, hon. 'Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.<BR! !>Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend'sAdvice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor ofAnswer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said thetoo-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go withyour gut. So, let's see... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant.. Final answer.'Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon
One day I was walking down the beach withSome friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!'Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'They walk among us!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------While looking at a house, my brother asked theEstate agent which direction was north becauseHe didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'My brother explained that the sun rises in the eastAnd h! ! as for sometime. She shook her head and said,'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff.....'They Walk Among Us!---------------------------------------------------------------------------------My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,When we overheard an admin girl talking about theSunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.She drove down in a convertible, but saidShe 'didn't think she'd get sunburnedBecause the car was moving'.They Walk Among Us!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a womanWith a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must ripOut every time she turns her head!"I had to explain that a person's nose and earRemain the same distance apart noMatter which way the head is turned...They Walk Among Us !-------------------------------------------------------------------------------I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area andwent to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.The woman there smiled and told me not to worr ybecause she was a trained professional andsaid I was ! ! in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,'Has your plane arrived yet?'...(I work with professionals like this.)They Walk Among Us!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------While working at a pizza parlour I observed a manordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone andthe cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some timethen said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungryenough to eat 6 pieces.They Walk Among Us!And last, but not least:Dumb as a box of RocksA VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY:<FO color="navy" size="4" NT face="Arial">A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear.
Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he
was most at ease.'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who
appears completely normal?''Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble.
If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.''What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips aroun d the world and died during one of them.
Which one?''Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another
example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
hey we got an emergency call at work, to go rescue a bird stuck in a tree,
the kind with feathers on, they fly for heavens sake!
(exactly how did they learn) to walk amongst us?
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
I overheard one of out girls in a call centre giving a discount code to a customer,, it began ZQ...
The customer obviously hard of hearing as the girl started to spell out the code...
"That's "z" for zebra..... amd "q" for cucumber.
I fell off my chair... she was pretty mind.
I heard a welsh bloke call Tesco customer srvices because his pizza he had opened had no topping at all on it, after much complainig and humming and hawing ...he suddenly apologised and said "Oh I opened it upsides down...sorry" they walk amongst us lol
When i was a lorry driver i saw the most ironic graffiti about another driver, it was written on a trailer headboard.It said "wally the man with no brians"
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