For those of you who are unfamiliar with T-Monday below will explain what the rest of us know as one of the best days of the year!
Doesn't really have any impact during work hours but the great day is not far off now lads, who's going to call it first?! - Woe betide the fool who calls it early though!!!
Ah, Tit Monday.
It's not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work in the car, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat. And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy.
For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin. After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.
Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts bra-less in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road... And you know it is nearly summer! For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday. Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast.
Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.
And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold.
It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.
So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early.There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.
But ya don't know me BJ.
Heres one for you and I think you would be the third one.
Three men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and all dishes washed and put away neatly.
The second man married a woman from Italy. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was slightly better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a Brummie girl. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he still didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher PS I am now hiding in the hills. :-)
T Monday must be fast approaching! I've spotted a few breeding pairs flying around, also the rarer inner thigh has also been spotted, but it appears that the rarely glimpsed stocking top appears to be still on the endangered species list!
![It's coming T Monday (Men only please) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8mobileLQ.jpg)
![It's coming T Monday (Men only please) - Forums [Biker Match]](/images/backgrounds/strips/8desktopLQ.jpg)
