Hi all, Just a question maybe some of you can answer, am sure a lot of others have had this happen, just wondering what you think. Some people message you then 'disappear' some ask for your phone number only to never call you, whatever happened to good old manners or is this just the norm now for a lot of people? If you read someone's profile, like the sound of the person and get in touch, why not take the time to get to know the person, that can take a while, if you can't be bothered to make the effort, don't waste peoples time. Are their any others who think the same or am I the only one lol! Just thought I'd post this and get some opinions.
Hi anne, i think some people are rude, if you message them, a lot dont answer, even out of politeness, many people on here have the same interests so why not chat, i feel some people that ignore messages are probably not attracted to the person that has messaged them, but lighten up we all have something in common BIKES!!!! - pink x
Hi Pink, Yep! your spot on there lol! but if someone's just looking for friendship, looks shouldn't come into it but that's just me, it dosen't really bother me now but I like to get peoples view on things, love a good old debate lol! always open to others point of view.
Hi Anne, I have thought along the same lines as you but, then again have also been guilty of talking to people via PM and then just letting it go. It can seem a bit harsh or rude, but there may be other factors at play too.
I feel I am a polite and friendly person in real life, but, it is a little less personal on here and I suppose if you havent actually met the person in the flesh, you can feel a little "distant" from the situation and it may be easier to just withdraw from communication.
Maybe its just a lack of confidence with people too. It is really nice when people get in touch and its quite exciting talking to someone new. When it actually comes to meeting, some people may suffer from cold feet or just be too nervous to follow it through. They may also be worried that the person may not find them as attractive or likeable when it gets to a meeting.
Another possibilty is that they may be in contact with more than one person and for whatever reason, that person is perceived as more of a favourite and they just dont want to say, I like someone more than you, sorry.
I agree though, if you take the trouble to get to know someone, they may not be what you are looking for as a partner but, they could become a really good friend. I have made a really good friend on here, who I originally saw as a possible match. It didnt work out that way but, I now have a really special friend, who I met up with at a rally last week, with her new partner.
So, it may seem a simple lack of manners but there could be a multitude of reasons and no malice intended.
Or they might just be an ignorant git, as you say. Rob
Hi, even if i dont fancy someone il always give them the time of day, the only people i will ignore are the pervs lol. I have had a few dates that havent worked out on here, but they have become damn good friends, so dont dismiss someone so readily x
Hi Rob, You'll get me into trouble, I never said 'ignorant git' though there has been times I thought it but I wouldn't openly be that rude so thats that cleared up lol! You seem to think along the same lines as me, maybe that's the trouble with some people, expect too much from the start and find it easier to then just ignore the other person, I don't know. With regard to people getting cold feet when they've arranged to meet up, I can understand that but not once have I arranged to meet up then pulled out of it. I've met up with someone off here a couple of times, just getting to know each other as mates, nothing else, but it does take time to get to know someone, you just have to get through those first few meetings and give the person a chance, my thinking anyway. If someone wants to cancel a meet up for whatever reason, a polite 'sorry I've changed my mind' just to be polite is fine. But we're not all the same, was nice to hear your view Rob, thanks. Anne
hey shorty, welcome and good to see you posting, i know ehere your coming from, a little bit of common courtesy to reply to a om, even if its a hi thanks for the pm hope to see you at a meet someday, but to not reply at all is a bit rude, but just take it as that person isnt worth knowing anyway, i am friendly, send me a pm and i will reply, like i said welcome and enjoy the site, we are mostly all friendly !!!!
Hi Ian, Yes, I know there's a lot of friendly souls on here, Im one of them lol! I was thinking more along the lines of when people contact you first then you reply and hear nothing back, it's no big deal, like I said in a previous post, I just like to hear other peoples opinions on things sometimes.
hey anne,, i think another reason men "dissapear" is maybe they have come looking when they shouldnt have if you understand my meaning!!. people will skirt around this issue but i wont, there are a lot of males and yes i dare say women as well that arnt what or who they make out to be,,. ivebeen on here since 2009 and can honestly say ive sent pms and say hello and been nice etc to no avail,, some people are unfortunatly just plain ignorant,,,it does make you think why the hell am i bothering so i understand where your coming from,, xxboody
Hi Boody, I try to be polite but god, it's so nice to hear someone say it like it is lol! and I do get your meaning only to well had that happen last year, met someone who was nothing like they'd said they were, in fact he admitted to lying on his profile BIG TIME. Had a lot of timewasters (too be polite) but hell, are manners too much to ask for, for some it's not, for a lot it is. Whatever happened to getting to know a person, looks aren't everything and if you just end up making a new friend, thats gotta be worth it, but what can you do lol! except keep going till you find someone decent, friend or partner, someone that will actually meet up lmao!
hi Anne
i agree with you manners never hurt anyone it takes time to get to know a person so how after one p.m and a look at your profile can they tell what that person is like without takeing time to get to know them. why ask for your phone number never to use it maybe they will have you on standby lol .if i arranged to meet up with someone i would not pull out but on the way you are thinking will they be there .. (yes sitting where they said they would be)
nick
This is one of the biggest problems of the modern age!
Texts, Emails, IM's, PM's, etc
They are an easy way for people to hide behind and electronic front!
As has been said by others if I arrange to meet someone I do. Even if I may be a little apprehensive at first. As you say if nothing else you will either make a good friend or realise there there is nothing more between you!
I have met and made what I hope are good friends on this site and as I am a shy person initially I know I would not have done this without BM!
I am one of those that would always reply to a PM as that is the polite thing to do!
Welcome to the site and enjoy the many good people on here!
Couldn't agree more Brigadoon, Never nice to get a rejection off someone, even if you only met up as possible friends but that's life, it happens, we can't all get on, so a polite message, call, whatever just lets you know where you stand.
ummm well im saying nothing coz i know i have done the above!!!! .... and ive had it done to me ...!!!
it dont bother me.... if you was in pub and someone approached you and you simply didnt want to speak would you stand there and explain or would you quickly nip away with your mate and dissapear for a bit... not every time clearly but sometimes come on admit it.. it just has to be done!!!!
ps....... waits for the hate mail now ... love an peace to ya allxx
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